The ThinkTank Chronicles.

Moved to http://mindwarrior.wordpress.com

2006-01-27T12:56:00.000+05:30

Dearest Readers,

I had to move to wordpress. The craziness hasnt died out yet and I just hope to take it to the next level with you all in it. Here's to a better UI & some good management & categories.

Ill now keep blogging at wordpress at http://mindwarrior.wordpress.com though Im also contemplating on replicating the posts at blogger too [is that necessary?].

It has been a tough decision to take considering that i put up with spam instead of having word verification on the blog. The user experience is very important, i understand that.

I hope my transition is as smooth as i hope it will be and I will not lose any of my precious readers, my partners in crime ;)

Thanks a ton to Kunal & Rakesh for cavassing hugely for wordpress & pushing me off the edge :)) Thanks a ton for the invite and the incredible work of import and the words of help! :)

Still RDB throbs

2006-01-26T18:51:00.000+05:30

How can 20 year olds decide to sacrifice their life for a vision? A vision , they are not a part of?

How can one laugh in the face of death? A laugh not of resignation but of taunt and that of recklessness? How can one not scream and holler at the injustice of dying so young? How can one not be silent and accept the death as is, silent & die as if you never lived?

How can tears not stream down when one realises that such people were for real? They actually lived, for crying out loud!

The review is here

India & Patriotism : A Response...

2006-01-26T18:15:00.000+05:30

This post is partly in reply to cb's post but the rest is my own view of patriotism and country & other ramblings.

The reply may appear too long so I thought its better I deal it in a post.

@cb
Frankly to your post there is no way i can give a single straight answer because the post is too broad and tackles too many strawmen at the same time. Some are non-sequitirs and in that case, even trying to pinpoint and shoot any one of them is impossible.

Is there something called patriotism? Is that as simple a question as it appears Or is it another of those never-ending debates[flame-wara] because each party has chosen to fight in its own territories without a common single battle-ground?

My response however continues...

Is the question about patriotism? I think not.
Is it about India? Yes, so Im led to believe. India, a nation that actually is just a potpourri of different states each bounded by an invisible link{questionable}

For me India is a nation of people bounded by a common of struggle of independence binding all the folk into a nation. Its a nation that boasts of a peninsular state bounded by its abundant resources and a common ancestry of indus valley & harappa. Its a nation that was invaded by foreign invaders & despots. Its the richness in diversity and the amount of diversity it embodies that defines India.

Is it possible to define my country in a single word, I think not. The closest that I can come to is maybe geography, hospitality, tolerance & diversity. India is a union of states, each state a nation in itself. How far I would want to stretch my India is anyones guess but sticking to the geographical limits is a better way to say it so.

How perfectly can you define a common binding link between people? Its finally about the people isnt it, even though we are using the nation as an idiom? How come you call only some people your best friends and not all? How come you can relate only to some people and not all? Is not the common experiences that youve sharead and the common emotions that you've gone through form a common binding ground? Is not our country too, bound by that single common experience of a freedom struggle?

How perfectly can you define a state as a single entity? Isnt the southern tip of the states different from the norther tip. Maybe the language is same, but even then the dialects change dont they? How can you call a city a city? Only by geography dont you?

Patriotism is an emotion, an attitude. Either you have it or you dont. And of course, as per me patriotism is just a sense of belonging to the state and more importantly that of that state belonging to you. Its about the rights but mainly in the responsibilities.

Given a choice I would love to have a global village a Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam. But for all the purposes of reality : of economy, of togetherness, Ill settle for that of geography, a common struggle and experience, memory as the basis for the definition of a country.

Belong to a nation and then to your state; be patriotic but that does not mean you have to live with its faults, to root for the loss of the enemies{debatable}. Patriotism is only a positive emotion to better the present conditions in your home. Above all it is humanity that binds us all, but tell me how does patriotism stop you from being so?

When you speak about England vs Pakistan winning the match... arent the wounds caused by Pakistan more recent/fresh in memory than that caused by that of England? And so is it wrong when people do root for England and not Pakistan? I dont condone either behaviors but my only point was to point to a flaw in that part of argument.

A nation is as much an entity, a work in progress as any organic entity can be; but the closest that you will come to define it is with its present condition. Even when I define myself, I define as someone I am, not as a definition of future or past but only that of the present, isnt it; even the person of past I was is not what I am; and the one in future is never the one Im now; but does that stop you from defining youself? No, isnt it?

In that case, arent the fruits enjoyed by us a result of the struggle of our ancestors. What did bind them all to work tirelessly on the struggle for freedom? Isnt the India we have now a figment of their vision? In that case, patriotism is just an emotion and motivation to be a part of that vision. Maybe patriotism is a tool, an intangible resource like love to make possible that vision?

Rang De Basanti : Par Excellence

2006-01-26T17:31:00.000+05:30

Actors

sarfaroshi ki tamanna ab hamaare dil mein hai
dekh naa hai jor kitna baazuaen kaatil mein hain

Ram Prasad Bismil's immortal words, how for the first time hearing it being spoken by Lakshman[Atul Kulkarni] brought tears to my eyes. Speaks volumes about the couplet itself, not to speak less of the passion it embodies and the sincerity that Atul brings to his character.

Brooding, silent, intense character of Siddharth on an equal footing with Aamir living in denial of their true selves, leading lives leaving out the tough questions for later. Sukhi[Sharman Joshi], Aslam[Kunal Kapoor] happy go lucky with their own demons. Four lives without a single passion that binds them all; a single passion that makes them friends that they are. A passionate pair played by Madhavan & Soha.

All changes when Alice Patten comes to place. Go watch it. And if this small story isnt enough go on read...

What is the movie about

Five movies on Shahid Bhagat Singh & his friends, this is just another one
~~306~~ 206 migs lost & 78 most able pilots killed during the last 15 years, this one is about them
Oodles of optimism and life covered in the grime of cynicism and helplessness, this is about them
Stories of passion and the struggle for an intangible word called Aazadi which they will never be able to enjoy; this is the story about them
50 years of freedom and how the General Dyers are still very much a part of the country that we are, this story is about them
A view of violence as an answer to all ills, this is a story about it
The youth that actually should shoulders the country & sculpts it; have shrugged their shoulders, this is the story about them.
A past lost, lives forgotten, visions smudged, this is a story about them.

Why should you watch it

Go watch it for the sincere performances by the actors even if you hate lecturebaazi
Go watch it even if you think patriotism is a word that has lost its meaning and we are all a global village; you might just be welcomed to the real world
Go watch it even if you are a believer of non-violence and a votary of peace; because "for the deaf, only an explosion can wake them out of the slumber" and how only violence is the only answer against a despot
Go watch it even if you believe that violence is the only solution to all problems and how all the current crop of politicians should be lined up and killed; because an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind
Go watch for a well thought out answer on violence as a weapon, tool & example
Go watch it, because even if you think the country is going to the dogs and is beyond repair; there just might be a small solution to it hidden in the movie
Go watch it because you might just learn about a government that covers up the death of a ace fighter pilot due to malfunctioning and under-quality equipment to pilot errors
Go watch it because you might just learn something about how screenplay can be the best actor & director of a movie; and how it can lift a script from abyss to that of cinematic helm
Go watch it how sometimes silence can speak volumes of cynicism, passion, pentup anger & great determination and how eyes can be your voice and mind
Go watch it for reality can hit like a ton of bricks knowing how the martyrs if they ever come back alive would wish they were dead, for the India that is now is not the one they dreamed of and sacrificed for
Go watch it because if this movie turns out to be a flop, we might just have lost another brilliant and a sincere director.
Go watch it to see how the story of Bhagat Singh & his comrades can be shown twice in the same movie without you ever getting bored
Go watch it to see how the story of our independence struggle is not an anachronism but a contemporary tale
Go watch it because for the first time a Bhagat Singh actually reflects his age!
Go watch it for the skill that is in Rakeysh Om Prakash Mehra, a brilliant director & to learn how very far ahead of most of us all he is

My rating : 9.25/10

Base, Face & Populace

2006-01-24T19:20:00.000+05:30

Inspite of his hamming, there is something about Shahrukh that endears him to the family crowd, that none of the other Khans could quite not achieve : his endearment to the the Indian family and being the quintessential ‘family man’.

That’s why he is the King Khan liked alike by all in the family. Why? The most plausible reason considering everything is his marital status and unwavering commitment to his wife and kids.

Think Aamir, and you have one of the finest actors of the country and also a great looker but what about his fanbase among the family? Not very comparable to the King Khan I say. He got divorced from Reena, his wife of 15(?) years immediately after his high i.e. Lagaan.

And then of Mr.Saif too who divorced Amrita almost after his winning streak after DCH & HumTum.

Not to speak of Salman who never seems to go anywhere near the word marriage.

Maybe they will deliver a number of hits but then would they come close to the Khan wrt fan following among the family? I wont bet my money on that, at least so soon.

Does that mean the Indian movie populace loves family types or am I missing something?

Cost of a Life.

2006-01-23T12:03:00.000+05:30

"Rendellu moodu lakshalu kharchainanduku aathma hatya chesukunte, ippudu okka vaaram lo yaabhai velu kharchu pettinanduku... ippudu chesukovaali aatmahatya baabu, ippudu chesukovaali aatmahatya" [sic] In Telugu

The translation follows:

“I think now is the time for me to commit suicide.” The farmer on his bed recuperating from his failed-suicide attempt continued “When I tried to commit suicide just for spending 2 lakhs in 3 years, isnt now the time for the suicide for spending 50,000 in just a week towards hospital costs?”

-- Excerpt from a real anecdote.

Go Read the posts on farmer suicides on dilips, vikrams blogs.

Of Nero and breached Dams
P Sainath on the crisis in rural India

of jobs and marriages

2006-01-20T23:54:00.000+05:30

Working in a job you are not in love with is a lot like being trapped in an unhappy marriage, isn't it?

You go through the motions mechanically,
get paid in kind or cash,
are given special privileges,
the passion is missing and you are unhappy
and yet you get fucked no matter what.

Men-to-be and Reservations

2006-01-20T16:43:00.000+05:30

A young man-to-be resentfully asked his father “Why should I? Why should I put up with the reservations at all? Why should students from SC & STs get better colleges than us even though they are less-talented than me?”

His mother chipped in too “Yes.... I have to put up with less merited and totally dumb nuts on a day-to-day basis. Why should this happen at all?”

The man of the house, his father, looked at them coolly in the eye “Do you know how dangerous the power of ridicule is? You dont even clean your table after you have eaten your food; And have you ever wondered how humiliating it is for a person to go to every house to collect the excreta of others in a bucket, carry it on his head walking all the way to the end of the village and throw it there? And do you understand the stigma that they go through for it...?

Ever wondered how hurt will a kid be when his classmates wont sit with him, wont touch him, wont talk to him and humiliate him for being the son of a faeces cleaner every day? Do you think he would ever go back to school after facing this on the first day of his school?

Do you think that kid will ever be able to lead a normal life? Do you understand the stigma that humiliation has left on that kid or the the havoc it can play on a small kids life…?”

Only silence & tears met him.
-----
That young man-to-be was me.

'Delete' transition

2006-01-20T09:51:00.000+05:30

The way ‘Delete’ on gmail has moved:

‘Move To Trash’ -> ‘Delete’ -> a separate ‘Delete’ Button.

That’s one good step towards a good UI in gmail.

Best Blonde Joke Ever

2006-01-19T15:05:00.000+05:30

This must be

The Best Blonde Joke Ever.

I just love it.

PS
Im not a blonde… far from it (. .. and im still laughing.

Infant Dreams

2006-01-19T13:00:00.000+05:30

Ever put an infant to sleep?

Not in the manner when they “screech, scream, and blow up what little is left of your brain and you in turn holler scream and frighten them back to sleep” but in the manner when you take up a yawning cutie into your arms and move around slowly lolling them into their dreams… Try living that moment?

The kind of peace that transcends you is beyond description. Ever felt that kind of peace surrounding you in any other part of your life? Isnt it wonderful that all other things take second priority over seeing and enjoying a toddler in deep sleep? I mean even thinking of that moment, takes my breath away everytime.

The small hands and the digits, the small feet and those pouting lips… I could stare on for ever just looking at that wonder. Man! I do really miss playing around with kids. From being an official caretaker/babysitter/grown-up peer of kids to a boring, bike-flaunting, nerdy geek, I just miss the days of being kidlike among kids and those yawps!

Or is it just the gene speaking?

Reunion

2006-01-19T12:26:00.000+05:30

I feel like a stranger in a familiar new world,
Eyes and faces i search of people to whom i curled.
There! There I see, the faces once i know,
at the feet of serendipidity i now bow.

In the sea of strangers i see my motley crew,
But the people arent the same, that, i once new,
now they are the ones into the choices they grew,
for the lives of their dreams they now pursue.

We laugh all once of the lives we lived,
of moments of joys and pains we shared.
Into the journey of life I move unscared,
even in the dark i see no light unglared.

Education is not what this is about,
Nor money is the one i care a clout,
All i learnt in this land of tech,
Is the ones that matter is not the big fat cheque.

People and friends are treasures of life,
money and wealth are nothing but a measure of strife.
Success is measured not, by the things i get
But the things I lost i can now never get.

Cycles, Mascots & Geniuses

2006-01-18T15:18:00.000+05:30

Im convinced more and more than more our world is cyclical. That’s not a typo not in the “world is a oblate spheroid” cyclical sense, but as in “world is cyclical” where everything in this world moves around in cycles.

Its just that at its logical extreme, every theory/philosophy/system/ideology morphs into totally counterproductive to its own definition.

We are now having to deal with a civlization of information overload. Computers and communication which were intended to combat against: efficient information management.

Liberalists after a level are not better than the conservatives, they do want everyone to be liberal, i.e. conformance with other liberals as the only choice; non-conformance to liberalism is a sure way of disbelonging to the inner-ring.

The same holds for many other ideologies: the idelogies of feminism vs patriarchy, objectivity vs altruisms to just name a few. Im a believer of moderation and middle path, and such obvious glaring differences is just fills a thought of fear in my mind.

I just hope we wont wake up some day and ask "What were we thinking?"

Then on the other day while I was buying groceries from the stores, the aunty [just a generic phrase for any woman quite elder to you] who was at the desk whips out the calculator and starts keying in the costs to calculate the total.

“Ok now. 17 plus 15 makes …”
ric…tic..tat…tic..tac [tapping on the calculator]
I help her out of her misery saying “32”. She gives me a surprised glance and then resumes keying in again…
“Okkk… 32 plus 51”
ric…tic..tat..rap…
“8483” another glance of awe from her..
…
Now this was getting very irritating mind you. It was not as if I was calculating the 4th hyperbolic 13th root of a 175th prime number in under super-computer time. It was just plain addition and her awed looks from her werent helping my irritation any further. C’mon folks, this is just math… addition…! You don’t need a calc for that!

And then finally she says “Ok the total is 493.50. You gave me 500. So the change is …”
“6.50”
“I knew you are a genius!”
“(”

Tell me my dear reader, shud I feel sad for the mega dependance on external objects for doing the simple mind work or the mathematical community start feeling sad for me being chosen the mascot of mathematical geniuses

sans categories, bloggspots a pain

2006-01-18T11:25:00.000+05:30

Due to obvious restrictions placed by blogger on categorization due to the absence of categories, I need

an alternative to blogger.com (which means I need to migrate all my posts since may 2004 and also lose my blogger identity)

a good method to overcome this obvious limitation. (???)

Any ideas?

discontinuum

2006-01-17T20:19:00.000+05:30

there are times when you want to know that you are cusp... at the cusp of something big, huge, unparalelled in size, thought and the result...

how does it feel to feel that you know that you are on the edge of altering your life irreversibly forever, that from now on, you shall never ever be the same ever again, never again is life going to mean the same to you.

never again would you ever look at the world in the same way as you are doing now. and that you have altered the world irreversibly and it shall never ever talk to you in the same way it is now.

you know, that you are just not you. you have jumped onto a discontinuum in time, space and thought and you cannot know how were ever earlier or that if you had really existed the way you were earlier...

and now, how would it be, if you were living like this everyday of your life, starting out as a new person daily?

Seeking me...

2006-01-17T18:35:00.000+05:30

Shed your tear not you arent with me,
Im in the wind that caresses your hair,
In the soft breeze that brushes the tears off you,
And In the cold winter chill that kisses you pink.

In the woods’ huge trees you shall find my hug,
Warm, strong and a patient ear for you.
In the clean blue water that you drink,
And in the thoughts of strength you shall find me dearest.

In your friends that are when you need,
And in the stranger on the path that makes you smile.
In the flowers of spring that cheer your spirits,
The curves & the dimples you shall find me all.

You shall find me in books you love
In every word black n white and
in the songs you croon silent when ‘lone,
And in music of joy ephemeral.

In your eyes you shall see me smiling,
In your breath you shall find me warm,
In the words of love you'll find me calm,
In every drop of blood you shall find me red.

If you cant find me in all that you see,
Just open your eyes and you'll find me.

Surprisingly SBI

2006-01-17T16:44:00.000+05:30

Whats up with SBI, huh? SBI was never to me the ‘cool’ brand. And now with its ads, its just way up there with Fevicol, Nokia, Bajaj. Just the right amout of spunk and a sense of humor to laugh silly at itself.

Each of the ad has such a cool feel to it. A dissection follows…

Inner ring: Each and every one person tries to ‘belong’ to an inner ring. The ads make you feel, that privy to this knowledge, you belong to that ring. That ring of people who are exclusive owners of a rather-unknown fact.

Outrageous Bets: That’s the one that adds the spunk to the ads. Rather outlandish and outrageous bets, in a rather corporate setting; which definitely brings the young (g)uns [read the young, fresh corporate/IT/call-center employees, who are right now associated with ICICI/HDFC/CitiBank]. Its that pie, SBI wants a cake of.

SBI has never been a brand of the corporates. It was for the behenjis and unclejis; only that of the regular 9-5 your average middle class safe-playing Indian. But with these ads, I do think it might just get a bit nearer to catch the imagination of the dudes and the dudettes.

Free Free Free

2006-01-17T14:12:00.000+05:30

I.

Brrrrr…… Brrrrrrr……. Brrrrrrr…… [phone rings on vibrate mode]

“Hello…”

“I miss you…I love you..blah blah blah… did you miss me?…blah blah bbah”

…

“Talk dirty to me”

“No I cant. Its 12:00”

II.

“Aji Sunte ho, babloo phone pe baat kar raha hai do ghante se”

“Babloo ki maa, usko bolo ki gandi baatein karega to telecom waalein usko pakad le le jaayenge. Naa rahegi baans, naa rahegi baansuri”

Related Link

All aside, what is the need for free calls after midnight? Is it to make entrepreneurs setup call centers?

Ambigrams

2006-01-16T18:42:00.000+05:30

All the people who got introduced to the wonderful world of ambigramming through the ‘Angels and Demons’ you might want to check these links.

John Langdon
Scott Kim
Punya Mishra
Robert Maitland
Paxy

As Paxy says, a good ambigram must follow the criteria of : Symmetry, Legibility, Aesthetics.

That’s what makes it a piece of art, isnt it? Why wait then? Go ahed and do some ambigramming. Someday I shall do one good ambigram. What about you?

History

2006-01-16T15:28:00.000+05:30

In the envy of the souls I fear no throes,
nor in the failure of the task i see pain.
In the doom that waits I see no threat
nor in the stranger that lurks i see peril.

In the darkness of night i fear no wraiths,
Aint in the noir of the sun i fear any faiths.
Nor in the pain of the self i fear any throes,
Even in the face of death I fear no one.

Only the maze of time i fear the most,
Of being forgotten as life zooms by,
Pain that rips, the heart, that throbs
in the mind, full of fear of the null.

The waves of time that creep slowly unnnoticed,
melting away the castles of sand that were built great.
Now lost as an identity that's one in a thousand,
Amongst a million others that are ones a thousand too.

Sad is it when i come to realize,
That in oblivion now dwell the greats of the past.

Without

2006-01-16T15:26:00.000+05:30

What is a temple without a deity,
But a building of stone and bricks.
What is a garden without the flowers,
But mud and soil, barren and cold.
What is a kindgom without its queen,
but orphaned, alone and agitated?
What is a guitar without the strings,
Mute, with aint the chords that strum the heart.
What are the woods without the birds,
Eerie and silent without the music that fills all.
What is the world without the air,
but restless and choking till the end.
What is the earth withou the sun,
Dark and blind from the darkness that pervades all.
What is the Warrior without his armor,
Naked, Alone and waiting his death.
What is a human without a heart,
But a stone-cold, useless critter.
What am I without you?
but a been than an am.

Communication

2006-01-13T12:39:00.000+05:30

Im the Ganesha and you are my Veda Vyasa.
I was listening to a voice I couldn’t talk to and He was reading from a mind he couldn’t hear.

Sounds profound doesnt it? :)

PS
(It happens when you chat only by typing and him only by talking[i recommend google talk]. Its insanely fun. Try it!)

O' Traveller - The Nosferatu Story

2006-01-12T16:36:00.000+05:30

Slow down, o’ traveller, slow down. Don’t you have no fear, o’ traveller?

Its a black highway and still you stop for damsels in distress, my traveller? Have you no fear, traveller? Heard havent you, of the dark tales of eidolons and revenants, dear traveller?

The last bus wont let me in traveller. They felt nothing right about me o’ traveller. You’ve been so kind, o’ traveller. You offer me food, o’ traveller? I thank you for the kindness o’ traveller. Kind people like you don’t come that often at so dark on this road, o’ traveller. But don’t you worry o’ traveller, I can manage my food.

The lights hurt my eyes, o’ traveller. Be so kind and turn them off would you please o’ traveller?

You say Im beautiful, traveller?Yes, I know it traveller. You say Im different traveller? I was you once, o’ traveller, I was you once. I was of life and blood and smile and tears, my traveller. I was loved and liked, o’ traveller. I had a love o’ traveller, I had a love. Oh, don’t be sorry for me o’ traveller, it was long once ago, o’ traveller. I chose my path, o’ traveller, I live that path.

Why are you so silent, o’ traveller? I can feel your heart traveller, it thumps and throbs of blood o’ traveller. I can feel the rush in your veins traveller, why are you tiring it so early my traveller? Why dont you stay still, traveller?

The night has come alive, isnt it traveller? Birds of big eyes and ageless wisdom, look at you in resignation, I wonder why, o’ traveller, I wonder why? Timid rabbits are scared and scurry back to their darkened, foodless burows traveller. The engine scares them, traveller and so do you… Would you show some mercy and stay still, would you o’ traveller?

Why are you agitated o’ traveller? Have peace and stay calm traveller. Im yet to finish my dinner o’ traveller. Wont you be kind to the needs of my body o’ traveller? Wont you let me relish my food, o’ traveller?

The coyotes will come looking, traveller. They shall come looking for you soon, traveller. And don’t you fear my traveller… I, the nosferatu, shall guide them well. I bade you well, my traveller… I bade you well.

You tasted great traveller, sad I got you…I bade you long…

2 days later

Slow down, o’ traveller, slow down. Don’t you have no fear, o’ traveller?

…

* O Traveller - A Vampire Story *

Reversed

2006-01-12T15:17:00.000+05:30

Everything does it. I only happen.

Its been a long time I wrote a line. The writing moved the pen that stayed in my hand. Its been a long time since I thought a thought. They come to me.

I look at the road, black, dusty; must've been a long time since it took a bath. Its a funny road; this black one you see. It runs fast under me. It makes me believe Im running. It makes me think that Im sweating. Naaah... it cant fool me, can it? Ive been doing nothing all through the morning and yet it has taken me all over the city 200 kilometers to be precise. It just runs and runs and I go places.

Its such a wonderfully mastered evil plan, dont you see it? Road runs below you and you think you've been doing the running... He he, its tries so hard to fool you and you got fooled, didnt you? With it running below the people stealthily and at different speeds, who wouldnt believe they were doing the running!

But, its been faithful friend, this road of mine. It has worked itself so hard, I find it hard to imagine that it doesnt get tired even now! It runs and carries us all and it never gets tired. Such a faithful servant, this road.

You got fooled in this elaborate web didnt you? You thought you came yourself to this place didnt you?

MindSpace

2006-01-09T20:57:00.000+05:30

How would you react if you come to know that an acquaintance(not atleast that you can consider a close friend, mind you) hates you?

Would you, feel ~~fortunate~~[edit-source:sabita] flattered that the person even considers you important enough, devoting time, energy and space for you in their thoughts, even if it means they hate you?

Or what would you think of a person that thinks so?

Would you still?

2006-01-08T14:32:00.000+05:30

Will you still come and greet me with that smile when I park my bike?
Will you still let me in?
Will you still let me sit in that chair and read through the newspapers?
Will you still smile when I make a flattering remark at your new look?
Will you still let me watch TV and make me a cup of hot steaming tea?
Will you still hug me?
Will you still let me slip into my dreams sleeping in your lap?
Will you still run your fingers through my hair while I sleep like a baby?
Will you still jump and whoop in joy when I dunk that ball?
Will you still be able feel my love for you when I take your hands in mine?
Will you still want to rest your head on my shoulders?
Will you still want to put your arms around my neck?
Will you still let me snuggle you and rub your temples?
Will you still cry and wont talk to me when I forget to give you a call?
Will you still be angry with me when I say something stupid?
Will you still share your deepest secrets with me?
Will you still miss me?
Will you still recognise me now that you are a stranger to me?
===

"When friends leave for distant places, the fear is not that they wont ever come back. Its not even that Ill be out of touch with them. Its the fear that, they change. And when they do change, the memory of the person to the one I see is unrelated. The person that I knew has effectively died. Its the death rather than the departure that pains." - spake the man.

And Im yet to fathom the immense pain that the parents undergo all through this ordeal.

Squashed.

2006-01-04T15:36:00.000+05:30

Bravo!

Goes a long way in telling the government that half-thought idiotic measures are not going to do any good to any one. The electroate might as well stand up and take notice that resevations are a stab in the heart of meritocracy & are only the ruling party’s half-assed thinly vieled attempt at capturing the specific religion electorate’s votes.

Gutenberg Defied : A Future Story

2006-01-04T12:26:00.000+05:30

Global Summit on Illiteracy, 2235

“Preposterous” – the Frenchman put on his French accent.

“Garbage” – the British snottily commented on the proposal, the unease already evident.

“Dios! Vas a callarte?” – the Spanish president spoke aloud his fears.

“Me ne infischio” – the Italian consigliori roared at the idea.

“The moment raised by Indian premier is hereby adjourned” spoke Koff Koff Galian, the UN Secretary.

The response from the academics and the Nobel laureates listening intently to the speech however had been phenomenal; they wanted more of it. The Indian premier was mobbed outside the conference hall.

Creased foreheads, curved eyebrows, deep sharp eye stares, the premiers of the biggest nations of the world were already deep in thought on the methods to tackle the biggest threat ever faced by the biggest knowledge-based civilization of the world. Tomes of literature were lying unconsumed by the population. Writers as a class were already an extinct breed. Calligraphy had taken a leap thousands of years into the shadows and so had the paper companies.

Illiteracy had grown to an all-time record high. Current estimates pegged the decline of literacy to virtually unheard-of levels with most of the population knowing nothing about reading or writing. The last surviving writer had died in his sleep, after striving with his last remaining breath to finish his magnum opus; but sadly that was not to be to.

Outside the conference hall, the Indian premier addressed the world populace, “India, the land of Vedas is here with her modest proposal to the global consulate on a mission of global brotherhood and understanding. We are here to revive and help mankind in its endeavor to make itself immortal, by passing on the knowledge it had accrued and acquiring to its future generations.

Writing existed as a way of passing down information. Gutenberg was the visionary who kept our ancestors alive in the memories of the reader folk. His contribution to the world is indispensable but we are here on a mission of succeeding his thoughts and taking a great step forward in the journey towards light by defying that icon.

We propose that the ancient methodologies of Shruthi and Smriti be adopted as the global standard of passing information. Shruthi, passing information by hearing and Smriti passing information through memory have long been discarded as the trusted means of knowledge. Sruthi is eternal, unaffected by the vagaries of time and place. With the advancements in science and storage, Smriti has also attained immortality.”

“We appeal to the world leaders to understand the situation. Spending billions of rupees in efforts to resurrect writing is a lost effort. Writing has only been the medium, the tool. And now we believe time is ripe for understanding that the technology has replaced the medium. It is more efficient, reliable source of transfer, storage and retrieval of data.

The archaic methods for verifying the identity of person have been replaced by biometric systems and which have proved to be highly accurate. Knowledge transfer is fast, efficient, subjective and is evidently more trustworthy.”

“Writing though has been the favored medium of thought transfer had in its final decades of flight, rotten into a deranged mess of bipartisan system with the illiterate having no access into the share of knowledge only accessible to the people in-touch with the medium and not with the source. And we hope fervently that the technology will make up for what reading and writing could not make up for: provide a equal base for everyone to be heard, counted and understood.”

“We hope that as Gutenberg’s press brought in the thoughts of ideas to be read and understood; our proposal of returning back by defying that icon and adopting Shruthi and Smriti can we bring peace and greater understanding of one and all to us. We appeal for the people to review the direction they are taking”

[Poorna Shashank K circa 2006 AD 4th December, 2005]

Dowry & Consulate Advice

2006-01-04T10:16:00.000+05:30

”Growing numbers of Canadian citizens have been caught up in marital fraud and dowry abuse in India. Most cases involve Indo-Canadian males who abandon their wives in India after cheating them out of large sums of money. Other cases involve misuse of India’s Dowry Prohibition Act. This law, which was enacted to protect women and makes demanding a dowry a crime, is sometimes used to blackmail men through false allegations of dowry extortion. Individuals facing charges may be forced to remain in India until their cases have been settled or pay off their spouses in exchange for the dismissal of charges. To avoid such problems, you are advised to register your marriage in India along with a joint declaration of gifts exchanged, as well as consider a prenuptial agreement.”

Source Here

Men at work

2006-01-03T17:45:00.000+05:30

Saw this sign here

+++
Caution
MEN AT WORK

Women work all the time-
Men have to put signs when they work.
+++

Love it (

News with a Voice

2006-01-03T16:42:00.000+05:30

Im not against opinions and am also not against the fact that reporters tend to go overboard and only investigate their point of view only, but why has the news got to have a voice? Why should news hold an opinion? It should only be data and opinion; but a voice and giving a point of view… its sick.

The whole point of news channels is about giving the facts without any prejudice and mainly sans emotion. With the number of news channels emerging, I find it sad that every news is given an opinion. By the time it comes to us, it already has a shape and opinion.

I find it extremely irritating that the verdict is already given or the facts being presented in a way that only shows one side of the story. I need news as news, only bare data, not emotions. I have the soaps to take care of that.

Sad but true, when dad says People have long stopped being judges and have become lawyers. Rejecting the facts and taking only what they find that is pro- them…

A blind man, sleeper and a threesome

2006-01-02T16:12:00.000+05:30

A blind man, sleeper and three men
-The story of our New Year Celebrations

As usual, the modus operandi for inviting our new year has been almost the same since a decade. The plans first get pitched a week earlier and then get comfortably are forgotten. Then on the day before the new year, the phones start ringing ominously; with calls being made frantically to all and sundry to chalk a plan for the new year bash! And the finally at the nick('nick' of salaam namaste fame) of the time; someone turns in and the part gets underway.

This time it was not, in anyway different. 5 men[or boys] decided that we will be having to usher in the new year with renewed vigor. Tarun Gandhi(not in anyways related to the famed M.K.Gandhi), Shashank Choudary[phoren returned, dollars jingling], Suman Karthik[the hair grower and our friendly neighbourhood monster], Rajashekhar[the feminist movement supporter and worrier of rangolis] and Poorna[quintessential nice guy] got together for the bash. First it started off with playing gully cricket in that famous pitch of ours -- the road before Suman's place. Time : 9.45pm

Cork ball was to make its debut here, but due to its color and the lack of any bright lights all around, and the astute observation made by Mr.Gandhi regarding the ball not being kookaburra(the albino cousin of the cork), the ball was ditched. Luck favored the yellow tennis ball and got the chance to be whipped by us all. Sadly it didnt stay yellow for long and got lost in the darkness owing to a powerful, aggressive shot by Mr.Suman. Time:10:30pm

Idle time was spent by Sum, Raj and Poor discussing about the quasi-physical properties of the photonic allegories between quantum curves and singular blackholes [crap actually] while Mr.Gandhi and Mr.Chou were off to buy some balls. They returned victorious after a half-an-hour or so, with one yellow and one orange rubber ball; which assured they wont get wet and dirty[the operative keyword is 'rubber'. he he he].

Much cricket was played in the meantime and later; with hundreds of calls and words of caution from Raj gyaaning us about the Rangoli festival as was New Year called (with Sankranti being the other Rangoli festival). Poor has essentially turned quasi blind as was evident from the squinting and bitching done about the bad light conditions. But as they say, "In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is the king" and Mr.Poor emerged the match winner in the series. [importantly, the first & the last matches].

The story gets spicy here on. With it planned that a movie shall be watched after the departure of Raj for prepping up for his impending GRE, the foursome[stop thinking dirty], started watching the Korean(sic) movie 'My Sassy Girl' again(except for Shash), with English subtitles. However, the sleeping hunk that Shash is, slept by the end of the movie. The record continues and the end is nowhere in sight. Way to go Shash!

And with the movie 'Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' being stopped midway in favor of sleep, the remaining three resigned to some peaceful sleep till 11AM of the next morning.

That my friends is the story of *our* new year bash!

Thanks

2006-01-02T12:35:00.000+05:30

This is the pathetic story of how the dialogue from a single movie has shaped my vocabulary? How sad can one get, when an important word and the noble sensibilities gets shaped by a single movie.. .

Thanks is what we use quite often. But whenever I try say thanks, unmistakably there is that hint of sarcasm and sneer in it. Don’t ask why its there, even when there isnt!

The problem is, in the movie ‘Shatruvu’ the prime villian played by Kota Srinivas Rao, mouths ‘Thanks’ everytime with utter sneer and sarcasm to anyone that helps him, it has since then become the only way of telling a ‘no, thanks’ to anyone that helps us or tries to! Believe me, this is a classic line, and when told just as the villian would in the movie, no one ever will ever even come near one inch of helping you again.

But sadly I aint a villian, but whenever I try to say ‘Thanks’ or sign of my mail saying so, or when someone else says so, Im pretty sure I hear his words ringing… Every damn frigging time!

And sadly I don’t think im alone in this. So whenever you meet a gult, try saying a curt short ‘Thanks’ with a little of sneer and a bit of cynicism, he/she will understand you really well for the love of Telugu films!

Oh and btw, for patiently reading this, ‘Thanks’.

'Speech'less

2006-01-02T11:04:00.000+05:30

Good Evening parents, teachers and dear friends

Moving from schooling to being a engineer in a MNC, one thing im pretty sure of, and that is being on the other side and listening to the speeches is the most boring thing. And so lets get on with things and I promise that Ill keep the speech small, simple and straight. There a few points which Ive learnt from my experiences and my failures and I would like to share with you all.

Inculcate one habit which you will do daily. – getting up early in the morning and exercising, reading the newspaper, or reading a short story before you sleep.
Cultivate one good creative activity – poetry, singing, music, sketching, painting, or anything you want to.
Indulge in one physical sport. Mind you not a board game like chess, chequers or carrome but one in which you exert yourself physically.
Respect yourself, your health and the wisdom of your elders. Your parents and teachers have come to this stage experiencing many failures and successes and it would be foolish to not to respect their experiences.
Talk a lot. Communicate your ideas with your parents, teachers and your friends/peers. That is what would help you to expand your worldview.
Know your roots & tradition. Its important that you know your roots and traditions and respect the knowledge passed down from the ancestors through the centuries.
Expand your knowledge. Read more books.
Be fearless. Unless until you are the one that has done the mistake, don’t let fear overcome you. In the face of fear, be brave and fight it out with all you have.
Never let go of your dreams. At this stage, I can say it is dreams that shape you and you should never compromise on them. That is what you are.
And finally, don’t neglect your education. Its education that’s fundamental and what shapes you.

Thank you, take care & keep smiling.

* my first speech - 29/12/2005 *

Heroes From Hell

2005-12-28T09:04:00.000+05:30

Ordinary people who do extraordinary tasks. Go Read it!

Turning old.

2005-12-27T17:30:00.000+05:30

This has been my guiding principle but never could I put my own thoughts into words as has he.

Thus spake he...

"When a person has solidified his thoughts and beliefs so much, that he cannot change them even in spite of evidence that proves otherwise… that’s when he has really become old."

systematic degeneration

2005-12-25T23:27:00.000+05:30

it has happened once. and its happening again. the initial journey is a dream sequence that has come alive. lots of laughs, thrills, new ways of working, increased tanginess in your work, and a great way to using it. and then it starts...

the initial symptoms tell me all about the crippling systemic failure thats waiting to happen. and if the symptoms are anything to go by, the catastrophe will definitely cripple the entity completely...

first, it wont allow me to work on it, play around with it, move around in it. then, it wont allow me allow me to watch it. and then finally it wont even let me just touch it. and then the crippling starts. bouts of startup acitivity cutting down on my productivity. and then it ends...

yes, thats my fedora core 3 gnu/linux installation on my pc. it has happened once[twice??] already and its happening again!

first, the gnome-terminal starts crashes and then it becomes defunct. then nautilus wont even start! and then vim crashes on entry. so i pretty much have a system with three of its main tools not working! And then KDE wont even work and neither does Gnome. Can you think of windows, with its EXPLORER.exe, wordpad not working and still wanting to work???

thanks to the fact, that im using XFCE that im still using it. there must be something wrong that causes this systematic corruption of the system that corrupts the files in /bin and /usr/sbin???

linux gods, any answers?

Sketch,The Series. Ep 3

2005-12-17T16:53:00.000+05:30

The talk of her always brought out the blush in him. Any small sentence about her or even a instance about her and he would blush pink. It was unnatural for any man, particularly any married man to blush when talked about his wife. But here was a man, in all his age, elegance and profession, who inspite of the life he lived, who would blush always.

A very few understood him. And a very few knew him. He appeared a loving husband to all until they knew what truth he had to live with. When they learnt that he was unmarried widower, some thought he was a fool, some thought he was a hopeless romantic, some men changed their ways having learnt what they were blessed with and some women wished they too had a husband so devoted; not able to understand that such a devotion needed particularly great qualities in them too.

It wasn't the only the pain he endured, that they respected, it was the life in his spirit that lived, the happy life in the pain that he had to live with, the pinnacle of hope with which he lived, even where there was none. Seeing him happy, living his life with all the pain and the relief, the misery and the excitement, that was what made him stand out.

He never gave anyone the chance to express their pity for him, no one ever knew what he lost. No one ever knew what he had to live with. No one knew what he was left with.

Sketch,The Series. Ep 2

2005-12-17T16:50:00.000+05:30

It was the hypocrisy so ingrained in the minds that even innocent sounding perfectly plausible words seemed way out of context.

When he and his friends had sent a 'Take Care. We Love You' card to his best friend who was a girl, her mother and father were very happy and full of pleasure to see so much of a care from her friends. But when as the only friend left, he wrote 'Take Care. I Love You' it just moved her farther away from his life. And it was then he decided he would never ever get involved with any girl in his life as a friend and definitely not as a lover.

Sketch,The Series. Ep 1

2005-12-17T16:03:00.000+05:30

A small drive and a blind date.

Neither of them were true. Moments earlier, they were a young couple in love, to be wedded soon as husband and wife, in a ceremony blessed happily by their parets, cruising in a mindless rush on the freeway.

It was only moments earlier, wasnt it? The emotion sweeping them and dwarfing the moment itself. The insanity and the elationjoy with a promise of all eternity? It all looked so contrived now, the harsh reality mayhap. The night which had been illuminatiing wonderful moments earlier, crept silently into the morose shadows.

And then it happened.

An error of decision so unlikely of him, but then, that was the erroneousness of the moment too. And now the emotion ended and was replaced by a much stronger emotion, an anti-emotion of all that he had felt just moments before.

She was sprawled in his lap, the woman of his life. It was as if the nature bidding a tearful tribute to his demised love and life. It wept at its foolishness for paining a man, the only heart that could ever stand test to its cruelties. Pure and eternal.

She kept looking into him. Eyes filled full only with regret, she knew that the man holding her would never be the same again. He would never be the kid that he was now. Before her was the only man that she ever trusted and truly loved and now here he was, broken, unsure of what to say, unsure of what to feel, but only sure that the woman of his life was bidding him farewell.

Shw saw pain and he saw only deep regret. But unmistakable to each, there was one emotion that both of them saw, a deep seething pain; so deep and cruel, only her absence was a better way out of this pain, she could never endure it and neither would he.

It was the end of a man, the man-child. The precious child was dead and it would never come back. He sat there alone, desolated and helpless in the very true sense of the word. The road was empty, with only the stars that stood, like fallen tears of the moon.The road desolate and him heart broken.

Rivulets of blood drying up fast. Their blood was a tribute to their love. Love masquerading as blood was fast leaving them. It was this blood, that was once theirs and would never be his again, and it would never be anyone else's.

The blood left stains and the marks went deep; no cleaning would ever rub off that stains. They would never mean anything more than dried blood to anyone else, but to him they were all that were once his. Only his. And now they would stay with him. Till the end.

The moment would forever remain etched in his life. Like a stain of acid that was etched on glass, it was a stain that could never be erased, it added a rare beauty to his persona, and to the insanity and injustice of the moment itself.

(Inspiration: The Last Kiss by Pearl Jam)

Fibbers Paradise?

2005-12-17T15:25:00.000+05:30

Whats wrong with all the con man movies these days, huh? Why has it to be that, the end is such a complete twist? The movir takes the audience for a roll for three hours and then gives a stale ending? Ok, ok not a stale ending, but by the baap of all cons? Why has the Great Great Conman always be conned by a very well thought con by an amateur? Is there no value of experience?

We saw that happening in 'Chocolate', where the whole of the movie culminated in the final scene, where all the story is just made up. Then again saw that in 'Ek Khiladi, Ek Hasina', again the last scene and we learn that the two and a half hours spent was finally a con act. And again that same thing in 'BluffMaster'. I do appreciate the care taken for a fun ride, and of couse I love being funny, but not when Im the butt of jokes. And seriously, at the end of the move, I felt just that!

Oh and btw, do watch BluffMaster. In spite of the obvious diassapointment at the end [I could exactly understand the whole story half and hour before the climax, and that doesnt speak very good of such a con movie], the movie is really good. Performances stand out. Boman is wow! Really loved that scene on the marine drive. Nana is wow! Trying to be a dangerous don and to appear funny is no mean task and he has delivered it my friends! Ritesh is seriously coming to be the guy with a penchant for selecting good movies. Pretty underrated actor, i wish he just stays the same, going for only the best ones. Priyanka was cool. Abhishek has done a terrific job, and i dont think he will ever change his name to 'Abhisheik Bacchan', he wont need that anyways...

Karma Dynamics

2005-12-14T18:15:00.000+05:30

Naah not about the Karma engine of UT2 its just own very Indian 'Karma', that Neo eloquently rap(e)s pronouncing it as 'Kh-Ar-Mah' in Matrix Revolutions...
‘ Karma’ the word that most Indians use to denote ‘fate’ or ‘predetermination’. However sad the fact is, it actually denotes the exact opposite. Karma means the words and actions and all the resultant actions that arise of them thereof.

The word in actuality can be used to denote the power every human has on the factors affecting him; which places the results of his actions in his hand; however the ‘modern’ meaning makes him a helpless, snivelling mammal, helpless at the hands of fate.

Then what really is the cause of this metamorphosis of a logically [scientifically] backed word to that of a illogical, weak sentence. Has it got something to the point that however hard the human tries there is always that 0.1% of external factors that he has never got control of, that obviously holds its basis in the Law of Diminishing Returns ?

By keeping the power of karma [as in fate] to be of external origin makes the pain of failures easier on the person and stops his successes from going to his head. On the other hand, karma [as in complete responsibility for actions and results] might have its downside where the failures may make him work harder [or discourage him] and take the successes to his head.

If we assume the driver of the change of this meaning has been the society in general, this reasoning does stand a good chance of it all, doesn’t it?

Your views?

Its ok if there is a reason? : WTF

2005-12-13T18:58:00.000+05:30

Its old news now I guess, that of the case of MPs taking bribes to raise the questions in the Parliament. And every concerned Indian is quite angry about it. However, the esteemed Ms.Mayawati has quite different views on it as aired on NDTV [13-12-2005] one day after dismissing those three MPs

"The three legislators are quite poor. Even for contesting their elections, the money had to be paid from the party fund. I dont think its such a big issue if they take the bribes for asking the questions."

WTF? Bribes are not ok. Even being poor is not a reason for taking bribes!

Prudes

2005-12-12T22:41:00.000+05:30

Tell me my dear enlightened readers, not that I'm a prude or a dolt, is premarital sex an accepted phenomenon? Is its acceptance, a passport to the rising up of the challenge of broadened views and globalised thinking? Or virginity as a quote said, not a sign of dignity but that of a lack of opportunity?

:D

GenXX & GenXY

2005-12-12T22:37:00.000+05:30

Chatting about life partners and all the stuff and sundry with my ever reliable friend l~, we reached this question about what she would want from her future[god bless him!] hubby. And she said the following...

[her]: that might even include a HIVtest too
[me] : way to go!!!! ^:)^
[her]: dont b shocked i want that n i want it 2 b made legal
[me] : i actually thing it shud be made a legislation for all...and anyone who doesnt want to can go to hell

Now since we have the view points in place, the deeper(and usually extremely useless) questions follow next.

Why/How would one want to marry someone if they dont trust each other(to not to have HIV infection), I mean starting your life together without trusting each other, needing proofs and stuff, when actually what is needed is implicit trust and understanding? Does that make marriage a contract, or just a genetic permutations and combinations, just finding the right mate?

Pray me, where was that myticism lost? :P

*And dont you dare flame me about triviliasing about something as serious as HIV*

Nugget(s) of the day

2005-12-12T22:36:00.000+05:30

Love was fine till sex screwed it up!
Life is sexually transmitted disease and causes death.

Gmail changes

2005-12-09T19:33:00.000+05:30

Webclips at the top of the page. Nice.
'Move To Trash' becoms 'Delete'
Google talk ad is in GMail.

What next? Will i be getting the ten best search results as a part of my IM? Actually its nice when Im discussing/debating through an IM...

the fall of the golden bird

2005-11-28T19:50:00.000+05:30

"India's share of world income collapsed from 22.6% in 1700, almost equal to Europe's share of 23.3% at that time, to as low as 3.8% in 1952. Indeed, at the beginning of the 20th Century, the brightest jewel in the British Crown was the poorest country in the world in terms of per capita income"

Her.

2005-11-28T15:57:00.000+05:30

She could laugh and she could smile; I could never tell her how wonderful that was to me, a sense of noneness, a void that contained only an eternal bliss, a bliss complete in its ignorance of any pain.

Then there were times when she cried, tears she shed; they never made any sense to me, they were very precious, too precious to be shed upon anything or anyone, and last of all on me.

She was extremely stubborn, strong-headed and strict; she could be the strict matron that would discipline when I would do something wrong, but she could be quite blind to what met her eye.

She was kind and cruel too, not the stone-hearted females, but a cute feliney type that would purr its way; for all the short-temper was just a facade to the wonderful heart she had.

She believed she was extremely strong at heart; and yet it needed a gecko far up on the wall, to provoke her to scream and shout.
She believed she was a toughie and never much cared about people, I humored her, for I knew, she would be disturbed when people (mis)judged her.

I knew what made her cringe,
I knew what made her cry,
I knew what made her laugh,
I knew what made her smile,
I knew what excited her,
I knew what made her jump in excitement,
I knew what made her an utterly hopeless romantic,
I knew what made her sad,
I knew the dust that welled the tears,
I knew what irritated her,
I knew what she loved,
I knew what she hated,
I knew her mood spells,
I knew when she would throw the temper-tantrums,
I knew when she put her foot down,
I knew how i could sweep her off her feet,
I knew how she felt when i put mine down,
I knew how she felt when i would murmur 'I love you' near her ears and how she liked it,
I grimaced when she acted like a bratten little kid,
I respected when she turned into a strict matron when I would mess things up,
I felt coveted when she would look at me proudly like I was gift and
I felt treasured when she would rest her head on my shoulders and I would close my eyes, trying to cherish as much of the moment as was humanly possible, however hard i tried I failed, and then i would return to the moment that currently was, just living it.
I loved to hear her talk, ramble incessantly, and then sometimes trying to turn me jealous by hitting on others, and when i never played it to her, how she got irritated and felt insecure.
I got irritated; when she would just not listen to me, or talk to me, see the world from my eyes.
In things, how we came the closest to understanding each other, almost to the point of being one another, but then how we will never ever come close to being a man and a woman.

And then she left...

(Dedicated to all the wonderful women out there; this is only for you)

Love, Sunk Costs & Popcorn.

2005-11-24T16:46:00.000+05:30

Cost [ from Latin constare, to be fixed, cost]

How many times have you sat through a bad movie cursing, hissing under the breath, grinding your teeth, expressing your anguish over the choice of yours, but never get up from the seat only because you have already paid for it! If you belong to the majority class of people who just don’t walk away from the movie, then economics already has christened it; its called Sunk Cost Fallacy.

That’s wonderful isnt it? I mean whole of my film watching life I have been a victim to some bad ones, some really bad ones, where I paid 40/- and sat through it, further torturing myself thinking that paying for the ticket was the point of no return. However, it was plain dumb of me in retrospect, that rarely I walk out of the theatre and then again had to buy a Tiger Balm on the way home. But wham! The answer is just staring at me in the face!

But what might be the reasons for just not walking out?

We already have made a semi-public commitment (with friends, etc) to sit in a theatre and watch the movie to the end.
We have save our face by not making it publicly known that we made a really bad bad choice. And that shows on our decision-making skills!
Try to paisa-vasool for every pie we paid by either trying to make catcalls to that coochi-cooing couple in the corner seat or try guffaw loudly to a very average done-to-death joke.
Just endure the torture and just use this to cry foul at every instance it is reminisced among the friends
To show-off as a been there, done that?

In economics and in business decision-making, sunk costs are costs that have already been incurred and which cannot be recovered to any significant degree. Economists argue that, if you are rational, you will not take sunk costs into account when making decisions.

The best choice as economists seem to say is : if you don’t like the movie and anyways if there is no way you could recover your money, you could do as well is to just do is to not to go to the movie. Anyways, you arent getting your money back, why would you want to waste your time & energy too? That’s called loss-aversion.

A more real-life situation for you. Just imagine you’ve just spent your 3 years of college trying to patao a girl/boy and she/he never responded. So what do you do next? The usual emotional attachment/instinct convinces you that,

Since you’ve already invested 3 years there, why not try one more year

But what does the conventional logic say? Leave it and move on. And what does economics say? It considers the three years as a Sunk Cost, and so would ask you to favorably forget them, right? No, its not so simple; It asks you to

Take your decision based exclusively on now only; without taking into account the three lost years!

Man! Economics does make a lot of sense!

Tagged!

2005-11-23T14:33:00.000+05:30

CB tagged me. Even though i dont believe the tradition, it sometimes is fun to do this exercise and helps kill time too! :)

Here goes my five:

Five movies which I like the most
1) The ones I love to watch again and again and again: Andaz Apna Apna, Topgun, Sakhi, Braveheart, Jhankaar Beats
2) The ones I feel strongly about: Yuva, Swades, Dhoop, Mitr, Phir Milenge.
3) The brilliant ones: Memento, Braveheart, TopGun, Matrix, Matrix Revolutions.
4) The series: Matrix Series, Star Wars, Lord of the The Rings, Rocky Series
5) Beautiful ones: Notting Hill, Serendipity, October Sky

Five things I can never live without
1) Books
2) Thoughts
3) Solitude
4) Good Food
5) Good Company

Five most favourite celebrities
I dont believe in the star system; but the people whom i love to listen, see, speak
1. Kamal Hassan, Aamir Khan through the commitment to their work
3. Naseeruddin Shah, Robert De Niro through their sheer act
5. Maniratnam, RGV through their work & uncomprimising films
7. Ashutosh Gowariker, Revathy through the sincerity in their works
9. Swami Vivekananda and Jiddu Krishnamoorthy.

Five things I miss now
1. A high end pc to work on for graphics
2. A blue serene sea
3. A long break
4. The innocence
5. The fearlessness

Five things I plan to do in near future
1. Write a game
2. Resume learning guitar for the nth time
3. Resume cycling
4. Learn Sanskrit & read BhagavadGita
5. Get my license.

Last movie I borrowed to watch & still not given back
-- None --

Five books I love
1. Ramayana(s)
2. Computer Graphics by Foley Van Dam
3. The GodFather
4. Conversations with JK
5. FountainHead, Atlas Shrugged.
6. Love Story

Five people I pass this HIGH FIVES to

Its a shame if i leave this open, someone has to get slaughtered isnt it?

1. Manas
2. Ze Dude
3. Kunal
4. Jayaram
5. Vardhman

Wimbledon

2005-11-22T18:24:00.000+05:30

One word. Goofy. Lurved it through and through. Goofy Hero, I mean no one would ever believe him to be a hero [kick me in the shin, I don’t even know his name, but remember him from A Beautiful Mind], but that is what makes it great, you actually start rooting for him. Simple, never seen two people liking each other so easily and the chemistry working out instantaneously. Great Music, its just a rhythmic, goofy kinda moozic, just flows through you. And of course, the camera did the trick for me. This is prolly one movie that I will love to watch once more, who knows maybe even more than once!

It all appears just idiotic and fairytale-ish, but well it was fun as long as it was going on…
A lot of heart and lot of spirit. Just a great heady mix. Watch it.

How will your blog die?

2005-11-14T17:32:00.000+05:30

Everything that has a beginning has and end, don’t you think?

I mean, c’mon you definitely know, don’t you, that this has to end sometime? Sometime long after, this will definitely cease to exist. Sometime maybe. Ok maybe when you have kids to tend to, or when you are not in a high-connectivity city with all that broadband connections and stuff? Or when you learn that all the glamorous, funny, people on the net were just some bored, beer-gutted bike junkies, or just saggy skinned strippers? Or maybe you just don’t have the creative zing left in you to get people coming to your blog in hordes and laughing their asses off?

What would you do then? I mean you definitely might want to go and start watching those never ending K serials(I definitely believe Ekta Kapoor is going to still wreak havoc on the poor Indian TV watching diaspora). Or read the newspaper for that matter? You definitely know, that the life of your blog has come to an end.

In that case you might want to put up a final act on the blog. How would that be? How would the last post look like? A simple, morose, formal, senti-filled ‘It was great interacting with you all, my fellow bloggers blah... blah... blah...’ or would it be a simple ‘R.I.P’ or would you have a grand spectacular finale where you would plan for your last blog post years on end? Or would just rather leave putting the people on tenterhooks and then one fine day come back and drop the bombshell that you are never going to leave this place and put the people of their misery? Or maybe, as a reminder of a lost blogger, delete the blog itself?

What would it be? Come to think of it, how would people react to it in comments? Would people put up nice epitaphs? Or would it be a plain farewell something like ‘It was great knowing you and we will miss you’? Or will it be a grander finale where people just forget the blog and get on to the next one?

Genesis Storm: Nother one bites the dust.

2005-11-11T15:54:00.000+05:30

The review is now up here . This is my first contribution to GenesisStorm.

I hate it

2005-11-10T16:42:00.000+05:30

I hate it
when you lie to me.
I hate it
When you don’t call me.
I hate it
when you’re callous about me.
I hate it
When you wont think of me.
I hate it
when you make me smile.
I hate it
When I make you cry.
I hate it
How stupid you are but are mostly right.
I hate it
The way you hate me.
I hate it
When you shout at me.
I hate it
When you laugh at me.
I hate it
When you crib at me.
I hate it
When you abandoned me.
But biggest of all I hate it
that I cannot get myself to hate you.

(heavily inspired from the poem in the movie ’10 things I hate about you’)

'nother one bites the dust

2005-11-02T18:10:00.000+05:30

Thoughts

This is my latest attempt at some serious brain-storming. Check out our attempts at co-authoring a blog. 'We', right now constitutes Ze dude, Suman and yours truly.

The first post by Ze Dude is already in place.http://genesisstorm.blogspot.com/2005/10/globalization-wolf-in-sheeps.html

Smoky Life

2005-10-27T15:10:00.000+05:30

He sat through the night looking at the white stick in his fingers. The stick grew thick luscious tresses of smoke, bouncing effortlessly away from the stick, rising lovingly towards him, but the wind kept pushing them away. They fought for his affection; to kiss him sleepily between his lips, grow inside him, filling him with themselves. They grew, they flew up to him, they tried reaching him, but couldnt stop rising, they grew till they were thin. Thin remnants of smoke, white, like a silky shroud tried hard to stick together, but couldnt. They had to split. They were never destined to be together. They were never meant to be one. Meant to be formless, without boundaries, dissolving into each other, dissolving away from one another. They flowed out of the stick like a foaming gushing river till the invisible rocks in the little breeze broke their odyssey. Small boulders around which they came around, embracing again. Huge invisible boulders broke their flow, their form. They persisted. Finally they reached the top, the helm. But by that time, they had already vanished. They had already lost one another. They had lost themselves.

He was not much different.

*prologue*

Rama Uvaacha

2005-10-27T12:57:00.000+05:30

Sitaey…

Forgive me Sitaey, forgive me. I know you understand that this was the only way I had; that this pain was inevitable.

I would have killed myself for even the slightest suspiscion on your character, but as the reigning king of Raghuvamsa do I really have another choice of action, Sitaey?

I know you understand me; you understand the storm that is raging in my heart, tearing away the insides asunder. But as a king that has to take care of my praja, my children, it’s my duty to listen to their grievances. I will have to listen to their wishes and rants, Sitaey; you will know how it feels when you shall have kids of our own, how demanding and lacking in conscience their cruelty can really be.

I had to fight the war to get to you Sitaey. For 14 years, I was going through all the hardships breaking my dharma sometimes... only for you, only you. It was something I had to do; I had to, for, you were my only glimmer of hope. It would not have been difficult to tell Hanuman to get you from Lanka; but I had to tell the world, to prove to the world, that you are worth all the pains that I was undergoing. I had to fight off great warriors of Lanka, Ravana, Kumbhakarna, Myraavana-Indrajit, Meghnath; it was not easy Sitaey; but I had to do it, because you were worth it. You are worth it.

But now, forgive me Sitaey; this is the only way I am left with. I wish I could be with you by giving the place to Bharata to look after the kingdom, but that would make my children, my people believe that indeed you are not chaste. It would make them believe that indeed their suspicions are true and I, blinded by love followed you to forest once again. I couldn’t bear to hear that of you from them.

Holding a court of law would be apt but even if you were acquitted, they would think it as a victory of power & money and not of your chastity Sitaey; for the seeds of mistrust have already be planted. I know Ill be damned for the centuries to come; but then it was never easy for love to survive, was it?

It is for me to prove that you were never unchaste, the pure gold pratima beside me would remind them that. It would be a reminder to them, of the mistake they did and that you are irreplacable, and a reminder to me; of how difficult it is for the life of a ruler; how easy it seems to be to not to be a king and how it is not.

Vanity :)

2005-10-21T10:26:00.000+05:30

this

or this!

The joy of being a programmer

2005-10-20T13:54:00.000+05:30

Now she speaks rapidly. "Do you know *why* you want to program?"
He shakes his head. He hasn't the faintest idea.
"For the sheer *joy* of programming!" she cries triumphantly.

"The joy of the parent, the artist, the craftsman. "You take a program, born weak and impotent as a dimly-realized solution. You nurture the program and guide it down the right path, building, watching it grow ever stronger. Sometimes you paint with tiny strokes, a keystroke added here, a keystroke changed there." She sweeps her arm in a wide arc. "

And other times you savage whole *blocks* of code, ripping out the program's very *essence*, then beginning anew. But always building, creating, filling the program with your own personal stamp, your own quirks and nuances. Watching the program grow stronger, patching it when it crashes, until finally it can stand alone -- proud, powerful, and perfect. This is the programmer's finest hour!"

Softly at first, then louder, he hears the strains of a Sousa march. "This ... this is your canvas! your clay! Go forth and create a masterwork!"

*Not mine. Will credit the source soon*

Questions And Fears

2005-10-17T12:43:00.000+05:30

On Questions
Are questions the key to answers? It seems they are, however it is not, never simply about questions, but about asking the right questions, asking questions the correct way too. Its the questions that define our limits; its the questions that limit our beliefs; Its your beliefs that shape your questions, and it reflects you in the manner you ask the questions. Its the questions that are elementary.

Answers are secondary, its the questions that hold the key. More the answers, more the questions. And somewhere after a lifetime of questions you ask if all of it was worth it. You then seem to understand that everything need not be questioned, for things have fallen in place not because it was decreed to be so; it was just that it was the process of evolution at place; and you must respect the process... the process of evolution. For every question in place breaks a creation in existence; asking a question necessitates a destruction; destruction of a block of yourself that you've defined as a truity, the unquestionable axiom. You might finally understand that finally, there is no answer. The question itself becomes meaningless if the answer isnt there in the first place.

There are things for which questioning is unnecessary, things that should not be questioned, for the questioning will never end; and finally at the end of your quest; you might just want to ask the question "Why was asking questions important at all? What was my motive?" And that very time you might have understood, learnt that its not the process of questions that is important; what was important was a need to believe and trust in the acceptance of any thing incredulous; accepting anything and everything that you deemed impossible and also things you never thought or knew you were even capable of imagining in the most craziest stupors. Its the acceptance of the mysticism that was necessary not the questioning of mysticism.

On Fear
Fears need to be fed; they are like everything else... alive, pulsating animals waiting to ward off any attacks on their existence. They are there always; feeding on you, your weaknesses... they the beasts of the dark, beasts of light, beasts in totality. They are fed by us, to feed on us, to frighten us. That is how they survive, by being a part of our own psyches. They are the cheap thrills, we need to live an eventful life. For if there is no fear, there is no limitation to you, your mind. They are our own nets of safety stopping us from stooping low-down or swooping top-up. Its the fear that defines your identity. Its the fear that elemental. Leave fear and you know they are gone; but not without taking a part of you. Once you lose touch with your fears; you have lost a part of you. A part of you that will never again know what it is like to live within limits.

Source Control & Life

2005-10-11T11:55:00.000+05:30

* Only for the techies who know what version control systems are. Others, this is just a whole load of goodledygook :) However, if you persist, you can first read this *

Hi Admin,

I am the version 1.20.240.7300 of the human program [code: K-OPO-S] and I am here to complain about a lot of issues about the faulty program you had delivered to me. A space for this program was created on 23rd July, 1985.

It has been checked in every second of these 20 years=240 months=7300 days and you have no idea how tough it is keeping track of the changes to my version every 60 seconds of 60 minutes of the 24 hours of the day.

The feature of checking out the older version exists but I can checkout only in 'read-only' mode. This is a major enhancement to the features provided already by the Life(TM) program.

The database is extremely faulty and sometimes I cannot even checkout some very specific version of files even though I had checked it in. During my initial analysis, I found that some versions have been mysteriously been deleted too. There has been even the case where some garbage was also checked in without my permission or knowledge.

And since I have no backup of the versions I previously checked-in; it is doubly tragic that I will have to deal with a lot of bugs, errors and garbage values in my current version.I cannot ever rollback to the previous setup and remove those known bugs!

I cannot checkout any files lesser than versions 1.5. It is a different fact though that my parent systems are able to checkout some log files belonging to my earlier versions but sadly they are totally inadequate to my needs.

Invoking a delete command does not solve any of my current problems with the file version. Even the delete command is being invoked at random by your system and I seem to have no control of it however careful I am with the safety precautions listed in the 'How To' Manual provided by my parent systems.

Best
kopos v1.20.240.7300

Glossary
Admin = God

Time!

2005-10-11T09:41:00.000+05:30

Pardon the absence of any resemblance to any sanity, rhythm, rhyme...

+++
Time! An enigma to me and a billions others,
As the reaper you stalk,
and as a shadow you follow all along,
being the healer you make us laugh.

The grim reaper you!
breaking into lives peaceful
wreaking havoc as you drag away lives and loves merciless
The scythe of time you yield with precision frightening
Never forgetting to take away the one that was born.

Never at rest, never at peace,
You break into lives peaceful,
wreaking havoc as you swoosh by,
Stealing lives of love that we live by.
Reminding of the truth of life ephemeral.

Like a mother you take us in,
in an embrace warm...
And patiently you stay
during all times hard...

Wiping the tears from our eyes
now wet from pains of lif-san-mercy.
Like a mother you cajole and coax,
to forget the nightmare harsh,
and put me to sleep to dreams enthrall.

Like a father you teach us all
hard and sans mercy to learn things the stone-hard way.
You stand by us all in times of need
and give us strength in moments of despair.
Tall as a rock and acting without emotions
you teach us all the need for calm.

Like a teacher you teach of truths so profound
of truths that span in all ye' times unknown.
Like a guide you stay,
true to word per se,

Without prejudice you judged everyone till this day.
Truths you bring now of times so old,
Sans an emotion you tell the legends of yore.
to all us fools of lives of the past.

Healing the wounds that people leave,
you drop in, the gifted healer,
the panacea for all the pains,
the longer you stay the better we heal.

As the dreaded stealer you come in slow,
stealing the thoughts that we now treasure,
Of memories and memoirs of people they belong,
Mercilessly you take away the loved ones
Confusing us, Frightening us, making us wonder
if the people we loved we really loved?

The imminent death of Hinduism

2005-10-07T11:10:00.000+05:30

Hinduism, the way of life of great liberties, freedom and tolerance. This is what I know of Hinduism. It is a way of life, not a religion, not a set of books, not a way of eating. It pervades each and every aspect of a Hindu's life, the thinking, the eating, the talking, the behaving, the worshipping, the living.

But in presence of other religions with proselytizing... evidently, it had/has two options. One to remain as is and allow for the conversion of the people to other religions; and whetsats a way of life without the people to live by it? Two, to become as strict as other religions are; and thus become what its not/what its against. Its changing shape, its from, crystallizing, having left its shape as a free-flowing river to that of a stagnant pond/lake, big but stagnant, bound by the limits of time and thought. Its evidently a reverse survival tactic taken against the proselytisaton. A survival tactic employed trying to harden a free form.

Both cases, its imminent, it will die out. The premise however, is the unshakable belief in human stupidity to choose what suits it best.

Its a great way to victory you see - if you cant win over them, just convert them into yours.

The 9/11 strikes did not do as much damage to US as they did to themselves with the succeeding measures they took to combat the menace. They struck at the heart of the matter : at the root of the issue : at the Americans belief in Freedom. That is exactly where Osama struck; not at the symbols of politics, finance, security but at the psyches of the people themselves. All he had to do was srtike fear; the rest would be done by themselves.

*prosleytization - To induce someone to join one's own political party or to espouse one's doctrine.

"Anon" :: A Story

2005-10-03T17:20:00.000+05:30

Major style edit
Hyperlinks to all pieces of literature i know of that i have placed in this story. Rathish, thanks for this idea!

Forewords
This one started out as a very small story on a bored work afternoon; but before I knew it just went on to morph into a fine short story in its own right. I truly enjoyed writing it, mainly because I was able to capture the true insanity, that i was feeling... Have fun :)

=========
July 4, 2030
=========
He wrote; they read. He talked; they listened. He danced; they enjoyed.

He was a star. In the surreal alternate reality of cyberspace, he was a star. Every word he podcasted, people listened to it. Every video he put on the page, people looked at it. He was all around, ubiquitous; and he listened to their every act, nothing ever worth talking missed his eye or the ear. He felt passionate about everything under the sun. The passion he awoke in people inspired others many. He was da address for witty, charming, disarming, mature, taboo conversations. He served everyone. He likened to anyone. From masochists to feminists to anarchists to puritans. Everyone was his audience.

Its been 5 years since he arrived. From a small page on blogspot which he called his own; his rise was nothing short of meteoric. A few comments here, a few there and a tremendous personal overdrive to network; he soon had people flocking to his pages to have a look at the content on his blog. Blogspot soon went into overdrive; its server crashed frequently owing to the heavy traffic to his spot. Google enjoyed having him on their adsense list. His site generated thousands of clicks for their ads on his page. Soon rumors flew about, proclaiming MSN and Yahoo contacting him and offering him 1TB of free signup space and unlimited bandwidth! There were legends born though that they were giving him an offering of click per page.

But he stuck with blogspot. And he grew. As a meteor shooting across the sky; everyone took notice of him; he was everywhere; on everyall the pages; people linked to him like crazy; he was on everyone's blogroll. Blogspot now had his link as a part of their standard templates too! He was now featured in mainstream media. He was contacted for interviews, but he only granted them, ones on a remote podcast server. That is all. His profile showed a star as his photo. Nothing else.

He was anonymous; faceless. People dedicated a wiki to him, "the anonymous" others heralded him as the "Neo of Zion", in due remembrance of a hugely (un)successful franchise of a movie(trilogy). They drew his pictures. Wiki had already gone from putting words together to putting images together. Thousands of people had their artist sketches about how he would look. Some had a clean shaven look to him; others had a Men-in-black look; others made him a orange-robed gentleman; some others drew him in pyjamas with flip-flops and a thin stubble; some had him to be a woman. He was a man for every man; a man for every woman; and a woman for some.

And then he just stopped. People came flocking to the site. All they could see was void. Not even a 404-page not found. Just Void. Empty. Silent. Nothing. The wiki had disappeared too. The blogspace had just disappeard. He just went poof! No, not even the sound 'poof'. He was gone. The pen, the voice.... gone.

It started flame wars all around. Blogspot enjoyed this increased activity. Amidst all this, conspiracy theories flew hard and thick. There were rumors about the team of most enlightened Chinese Zen crackers put together by M$ and Yahoo! to go ahead and pull his site down. Rumors flew thick about the 24/7 elite hacker team from India hired by Google working overtime to repel any DoS attacks. M$, Google and Yahoo! had 60/60/24/7 live stories of Dubyaman running an elite team of hardworking NRIs and NRCs uber geeks to pull down the site since the day 'the anonymous' put a post about Dubya who went to war with Somalia when he misunderstood that 'War on Poverty' meant 'War on the Poor'.

And then he came. He appeared as suddenly as he had disappeared. A 'Hi' on every blog on the planet. People couldnt doubt it was him. But they couldnt trust it was him either; he wouldnt go and key in the authentication code manually could he? They rushed to his site immediately. Flash bulbs popped all over the mainstream TV media. But all they saw was the number "22 8 2030". Again conspiracy theories flew thick about a possible hidden interpretation of the number: the number of people he visited? or the number of visitors to his page? or a hidden code in a remote indian or aztec civilization about an impending doom? Finally a kid said it was a date. And again theories flew thick, and of course their sub-conspiracy theories too. he was coming back to blogging/podcasting now; he was going to reveal who he is; he was going to tell his secret...

Again, the traffic to his site increased. People said 'We love you'. Others said 'We miss you'. Some others however professed their undying loyalty to him and had setup secondly RSS feeds/aggregators to find any clues to his sites. Others had genetic algorithms running on the next version of Deep Blue connected to Wikipedia and a pirated version of Encarta to decipher a meaning using his 'alleged' hidden clues.

And then came '22 8 2030'. People flocked to his url. M$, Yahoo and Google gave freely downloadable desktop aggregator programs which would stream the latest post from his site. Three of them even offered a free T-Shirt with "22 8 2030" on it for the first 5 thousand people who would download their own aggregators without using the competitors' product. Google even had its blogger modified to be able to stream the words to people's TVs, Desktops, mobile phones as soon as started typing on the keyboard. The stage was set.

And then a cornucopia of mobile ringtones flooded the silent hushed world. The screens went black and letters started appearing on the boards everywhere in a green phosphorescent glow. With Multiple language support enabled, and online text to speech converters available, everyone across the world could see what the English speaking world was seeing too!

"Hi" - The first sentence flashed.

"How long has it been that you went into the real world and talked to the people? When did you give a visit to the local park and played with with your dog? When was the last time you closed your eyes, tasting the sweetness in the lips of your lover, when they gave you a wonderful kiss? When was the time you walked? When was the last time you slept because you were physically maxed out? When was the last time you stopped visiting this site?"

"For me, it has been a long time, ages. And now I come to say to you just three words: Life is beautiful. Leave this place. Forget that it exists. Remember to forget that it ever existed. Forget that it even serves any purpose. Forget that it means anything to you at all. Just let go. Go"

"--Anon" - And it blanked out in farewell. No one believed what was written; No one believed it was him talking.

They just closed the browser window...

*Dedicated to the tens and hundreds of bloggers who are now a part of my existence and conscience*

Swades::A movie beyond compare

2005-10-03T13:02:00.000+05:30

Sincere. Honest. Subtle.

I had an important assignment to attend to yesterday afternoon; but one glance at the movie going on and I postponed the assignment there and then.

I love Swades for so many things it tells and so many things it knows are not reason enough. Its a movie truly true to its roots; reflects the sense and sensibilities of the people involved; an NRI on a short trip who finds himself in the middle of a society that doesnt value humans nothing more than carriers of customs & typecasted social roles; of a self-employed teacher in a remote school disappointed with the apathy of the people towards education and social empowerment and also the emigrating educated indians; 'pancham' of the village helpless unable to make that shift from being the harbingers of a rigid social customs to that of harbingers of progress & also unaware of taking that first step of making a change; hapless people of low-caste oppressed, meekly accepting their social & economic condition, slowly adapting to changes.

A simple tale told with overflowing honesty; simplicity and brutal self-introspection. This is one movie that is ruthless honest to its core; never stopping to take any honest audience to their own guilt trips; each in a role suiting their own; that of a typical elder unable to accomodate the changes to social eyeview; fleeing brainpower to work for their own good; helpless good-thinking people who cannot but go with the flow...

Brilliance is all there is to the film. 25 paise a cup of water thats sold. Social outcasting of villager who wants to move to farming from that of his traditional blacksmith. The debate of progress & 'sanskriti, parampara', and that of a great nation. Cant help it; this is one wonderful movie.
So many subtle expressions through the eyes...

And its only in the following lyrics I find the true meaning to god.

Raam hi to karuna mein hai
Raam is in compassion
shanti mein Raam hai
Raam is in peace

Raam hi hai ekta main
Raam is in unity
pragati mein Raam hai
Raam is in progress

Raam bas bhakton nahi
Ram is no only in his followers consciousness/thinking
shatru ki bhi chintan main hai
but also in his enemies'

dekh tajke paap Raavan
Raavan, give up your sins
Raam tere mann main hain
and you will see Raam in your heart

Raam tere mann main hain
Raam is in your heart
Raam mere mann main hain
Raam is in my heart

Raam tere mann main hain
Raam is in your heart
Raam mere mann main hain
Raam is in my heart

Raam to ghar ghar main hain
Raam is in every home
Raam har aangan main hain
Ram is in every compound

mann se Raavan jo nikaale
Whoever has removed Raavan from his heart
Raam uske mann main hain
will find Raam in his heart

Im not a feminist

2005-09-29T18:03:00.000+05:30

Im not a feminist, I never believed resorting to branding ever helped anyone's cause and here it is: Im not a feminist, and Im not ashamed of saying that. Why? I cant say. Mainly because, I have seen the male and female balancing, complementing each other and have also seen when this balance disturbed because of errors from both sides. And believe me they arent wonderful to me.

Im not a feminist, because my mom still has her maiden name. If I ever get married, I guess that will go for my wifey too! That is an extremely natural thing to happen. But its a scoring point for feminists and that is sad.

Im not a feminist, coz its a horrendous thing that women bear up with idiots even intruding their personal space, harassing them and putting up with it silently. I have my dad vocally express unacceptance of this and it solved issues. But even this is a scoring point for them and that again is sad.

The only question i have is however Have we brought ourselves to such a level of incompetence where mediocre is excellent work?

Im not a feminist, because I know men and women are different at even the basic dna level. As a couple there are responsibilities each one is capable of performing best and will prefer two people pair themselves-up to take care of it. When you are pairing up its about complementing not competing.

Im not a feminist because I dont believe any problem is solved by just pinning the accused party to the ground and compelling to accept their wronging. Even a cat when pushed to a timid innocent cat will pounce, what happens when you attack the belief systems, the ones that define the identity of a person; without trying to look at it from the cats view?

Im not a feminist, because the war has been stretched too far off and they are not much different from the extremist fundamentalists, where any logical, rational, 'the-big-picture' reasoning is impossible. Every problem of humanity has a single reason. Every problem of women has a single reason. Patriarchy.

Im not a feminist, because Ill prefer to be a logical rational minded male without being apologetic about my existence.

Im not a feminist, because the term is limiting and sadly, extremely reductionist with a myopic eyeview.

Im not a feminist because Im a humanist.

India: A Wounded Ego?

2005-09-29T17:39:00.000+05:30

How would i look at India?

The young breed that I have interacted are always happy not to be termed what they are. They are apologetic about being Indians. Some of them are apologetic about being Hindus. And some of being men. And also some about being women.

India invokes images of a meek, powerless entity which is apologetic about its own existence. I cant explain why, but the continuous image that they have been fed in all these years just conjures up images of a land, over-bearing corruption & bureacracy, ridden with caste-problems, torn apart by religious fanatics(not much different from the taliban), a sex-craved sexually repressed male population, overbearing patriarchs making life hell for the women, a land of sati & dowry deaths, and a land of cultural, social oppression.
In simple terms, a land of losers.

Raped, maimed & continually shredded by the own people... A land that looks for all the conformation from the west about its actions. We look if strategies will work for us which we have copied from the west/europe. They wont, they just wont. Because its a different case.

I dont see what ails us. Its not a land of pain only otherwise people wouldnt still be living here. Something here is still there. Still breathes lives and even manages to grow taking the pains in its own stride.

Sadly any instance of our own religion and past and we prefer to just skip it. It was some utopian age; or some age where the might lived to crush the meek.

There is no pride in being an Indian; because of all the causes given above and that is why our interest in history is the one dictated by the brits; never that of an india; never that of a son of soil who understands the issues in all its history, in all its complexities and adversities.

Someday, I hope we will rise to occassion of being Indians, a diverse diaspora and preserve whats anything barely left of it. Someday we will look through the glasses of positivism, focussing more on actions and less on the words.

Someday, we will turn back and appreciate the rich diversity we have; and things we lost in the process of fads; the great lessons to learn but by that time sadly it will be written by someone else who wants to see it the way thats comfortable to them.

Its a wounded ego; its an ego apologetic about its own existence; an ego that has even lost the ego to even fight back simple reductionist theories and attacks. But I will cling on.

I hope the ego will rise again; stop justifying its mistakes; in strength to find its lacunae; set its errors right; set its own misgivings about itself right; to prove once that its a organic being capable of life and an identity itself. The day you begin to justify your existence/your purpose, its the end. And India is doing just that!

The Next Wave

2005-09-23T19:35:00.000+05:30

This might already be happening. Feel free to correct me on that.

Prediction 1
With the way the consumer technology has proliferated; the next thing to hit the net... is[will be] micro-minute movies. Yes, i think so. I believe so. Movies that arent about long stretched, elaborate settings, walking in the sun, reformed gangsta stories, but they will be the ones that are just tiny, just about moments, a single emotion or two; a blink-and-you-missed it scene.

A community driven, community edited, community produced movies, community voted series of short-videos. Catered to community of short-attention span consumers. Truly "Democratised Videos". The "66 second video".

Yes, that might be next. That might be my best prediction.

Reason
And this brings me to my next prediction. The technologies that will succeed among consumers are ones that will require shortest attention spans.

Grand Finale
That brings however to the question: are we turning/churning out a mentally chronically ill generation of retards?

Moderation n Middle-Path

2005-09-21T17:14:00.000+05:30

What has brought us to this position, i cannot fathom; however the position we are in i can barely understand. What has happened to virtue of all qualities? Moderation? Why isnt moderation not in vogue anymore?

Extremism has arrived its _da_ buzzword; prolly the word of this decade. Everything is to be in-the-face. Laced with extremities to be considered remotely individualistic. There is no middle path. The patience has died a hasty death. Everything is extreme. This way or the complete other.

Everything comes in ultra-large or micromini. Either its this way or that. Its not the middle. Its either black or white. Its not grey.

Either its too complicated or overtly simplified. Either too optimistic or downright pessimistic. The time for a buddha is ripe i guess!

India wins a match; its news. Sania makes it; its news. Feminism as the weapon of partiarchy; its news. Everyone takes to blogging. Why? No idea. Not for everyone its serves any purpose. Everything.

Understanding issue in its small-existing current format devoid of its beginnings or its aimed endings is of no consequence. The thought if the slaying the problem at hand only might create a bigger demon never crosses the minds.

Athina Sarvathra Varjayet
Excess of anything is harmful.

No one seems to hear anymore, anymore of others points, its just me me me me me. Just like Smith. Me Me Me Me Me.

Feminist vocalists who wont even see what, why, how; stop, think or move. Its feminism that’s the answer to all ills.

Indophiles who believe that love for themselves is by their loathe to US.

Athiesm is the in thing.

Critics of Indian diaspora who make all the ills of arranged marriage but sadly cant find a good alternative to it either. Anything remotely old/back-in-time is retrograde. Its either too far out or just plain insanity.

Everything goes in cycles. So shall this. Till then the lovers of rationality shall wait. Till the dawn of rationality dawns. Till the mysticism is in vogue. We shall wait; for the thinkers shall return. And before that we wait for the actors to return.

the low: mumbai vs orleans???

2005-09-08T18:33:00.000+05:30

Forwarded mail > Couldn't' stop making this comparison.. > inches of rain in new orleans due to hurricane katrina... 18 > inches of rain in mumbai (July 27th).... 37.1 > population of new orleans... 484,674 > population of mumbai.... 12,622,500 > deaths in new orleans within 48 hours of katrina...100 > deaths in mumbai within 48hours of rain.. 37. > number of people to be evacuated in new orleans... entire city..wohh > number of people evacuated in mumbai...10,000 > Cases of shooting and violence in new orleans...Countless > Cases of shooting and violence in mumbai.. NONE > Time taken for US army to reach new orleans... 48hours > Time taken for Indian army and navy to reach mumbai...12hours > status 48hours later...new orleans is still waiting for relief, army and electricty > status 48hours later..mumbai is back on its feet and is business is as usual > USA*...world's most developed nation > India...JUST A DEVELOPING NATION..How low can we go? Couldnt help but respond. This is for all that try to make a comparision in the face of a human crisis/tragedy. ResponseMan,

A very helpful mail to scale up the scale of the issue.

But Katrina was a Storm man, What happened in Mumbai was plain RAINFALL!!! Both are never the same. Add up the lashing winds and collapsing lines/houses and you have a different problem altogether.

But I wish the mail had gone on to make clear that even the fabled land of dreams is not as easy as its described. Questions that need to be asked are "Is there is a national health care; is there a real housing policy? Are there is safety nets for those who have lost their jobs and homes? Putting pink wrist bands on victims looks like a way to ID people but it also treats them like a cost factor".

Same things that are bad here in mumbai too! This is a time for collective action against mindless hype and talking figures. Prolly time to shed the jingoist tendencies of both US of A and us.

Both cases, it was the people that bounced back to help others, the govt. was def. late in reacting. Im not sure of the scale of the problem in N.O, but hell we expected better.

The comparisions maybe true, but simple misdirected jingoism doesnt feed mouths, nor does it help the homeless guys nor resurrect the people swept away in the floods.

What we have here is a monumental human tragedy folks. Its not competition for deux! We cant have competition in death & misery!!!

Lets not get embroiled in the stupid talk of the politicians. C'mon folks, there are lot more things to do than just talking the air-talk of the politicos. Leave the smell and shit to them, hopefully we can make some manure of the shit around...!

P.S
And next time on, can we stick to the good old SI system, centimetres, meters? Gets tough thinking of inches you know, i mean here the rainfall was 96 cms, 37 inches is hard to get accustomed to!

Meaningful-Media: A Myth

2005-09-08T11:32:00.000+05:30

http://www.csmonitor.com/2005/0614/p09s02-coop.html

Got that link from my friend Tarun and this is what i see.
"In Congo, 1,000 die per day: Why isn't it a media story?"

so much for all the jargon:
24/7 channels
globalization
increasing media coverage

Mood: Angry/Vindicated/Helpless

essay competition

2005-09-05T15:18:00.000+05:30

Folks, an essay comp is up here. Try it out!

http://www.incredibleindia.org/pdf/TermandconditionofEassy.pdf

Weekend Lesson!

2005-09-05T14:02:00.000+05:30

Wham! Bump! Dunk! Whoopsie seems we had hit a block on the road! When we came out of the Alto & saw that the front wheel was stuck in a gaping pit hole left open by our roadworks guys. First hand, it is to be told that the MCH, roadwork and waterworks, sewerage dept are 'Agents'/'Chaos Theory' in progress. Too unsynchronized, too independent; neither of them is aware of what the other does and nor do they care.

Our colony right now is a masterpeice of evolution in progress. Wonderful roads dug up to scale up to the needs of population explosion. Frankly, to give credit to the mch authorities, things DO get done. But what doesnt happen is the followup. And thus roads are not flattened out completely, holes not completely filled up and mud and mush still stays on the road...

This hole was/is one such example. Both of us got out and yanked the car out of the pit. Just a matter of 3 mins. Analyze & Act. We were back at the wheel not before deciding that we would come in the next day and fill that hole up before someone does that same trick we performed. And conveniently we forgot about that because people were already getting careful to avoid that pit and the road.

But sadly on our way to the movie the next we saw an Indica stuck up at the same place. Damn! Damn! Damn!

Sweating, feet in mud and slush, soiled clothes and cancelled movie plan and after an hour of toiling with the strangers who were owners of the car helping out in addition to 3 other men coming to help up, the car got pulled out.

And before we knew all others skittled out in the rescued car, and we two were alone looking at the gaping hole. So what do we do? Do the things we didnt do the previous night. Fill up the hole with stones, rocks and all sundry. Hopefully its ok now.

Lessons learnt:

Kal karo so aaj karo, Aaj karo so ab. [Just do it!]
An Alto weighs much much much lighter than an Indica. I shudder to think what would have happened if a Scorpio got stuck in that pit!!!
Trust none but yourselves. If you are embarking on doing some good work, NEVER EVER count on outside help. You should be your ONLY support structure. Any outside help is only auxiliary, not necessary one
Analyse, Act. Stop Thiking.

And thanks to this incident, exciting new plans have come up for me!!!

Shame...shame...shame...

2005-08-31T14:59:00.000+05:30

[colored => looting ; white => finding]
Follow this link to learn more

Aura

2005-08-24T14:55:00.000+05:30

“It is so beautiful isn’t it? This was made in America, the US of A, you know..” the tinge of pride unmistakable in the voice.

“Hmm…. How much does it cost?”

“I don’t know… it is a gift. And you know what, right now everything I am having are American. And they are all so good!!!”

“But they don’t look much different to me. Im sure with that same money you’ll get a lot better products here in India itself”

“Hmpf… The soaps and all I get from US. I can’t bear the Indian ones, they are all so low quality. They are completely useless and bad to the skin. The things made in America are soooooo good.”

I didn’t have the heart though, to break the truth of the aura of Made-In-America products. Nike shoes for one.

Witness thy blog.

2005-08-24T13:34:00.000+05:30

“People marry because they need witness” – Shall we Dance, movie.

What does witness mean? It’s an entity that grants you an identity by confirming your existence. A witness reacts to you, your actions, your rants and raves. It notes your existence by listening to you, probably mute but finally does react to your existence.

The mirror is the first non-human witness to our existence. Then somewhere in the electronic age we moved onto the webpages as a place of exhibiting our existence/identity. But somehow im not sure ill regard existence synonymously with identity. Anyways, back from the digress… the blogs arrived. We had a voice now. A voice capable of shouting, screaming, cribbing, thinking, laughing, giggling. A voice my own. A voice that breathes and lives. A personal space that cannot be intruded upon. I can bounce back everytime I want.
Why are we so intent on leaving a legacy? To register our thoughts. Why is the need for a witness to all our actions/thoughts? To live more than our own biological timelines. In the minds of people? To be a someone in this world. Is there a reason for this empowering need to be remebered longer than our own lifespans?

One reason for asking this question is because I think this will help speculate about the next big pop technology.

The other reason I ask is because to know, if people would still complain, crib, shout on the blog if they never receive any attention/comments from others???

google does it. yet again

2005-08-24T10:41:00.000+05:30

Most didnt think about it. Few speculated it. But only some saw it coming.

Google IM is here!!!!

Download at : http://mail.google.com/mail/talk/download

What next? Google Browser? Web Office? Searchable Media Player? Distributed Web OS? Or a VM?

Chautaqua - 2

2005-08-24T10:39:00.000+05:30

Sometimes i wish i was with my friends when they were talking about me, silently observing their every emotion, every sylabelle, every drop of an eyelid, the nuances of the modulated voices, the crests and troughs of the emotions they would undergo when talking about me. I wish i was among them invisible, without their knowledge, silent as a wraith. Just observing; silently creeping among them; noiseless, as the still breeze, as still air with no tracks of my existence. But alas, that can never be.

Never can i be so silent, so invisible in stealth as to be completely non-existent. If ever they had a doubt of that i might be there, they would never ever behave the same way as they would behave the way they would if they knew confidently i wasnt there... Total absence of my existence inspite of being a witness to their knowledge is an irony.

It is this same idea that has led me to believe that the last true reality show on TV was "Bakra". All the other so-called reality shows are engineered products meant to show the audiences what they want to see, not what they are...

Reality TV presupposes the eyes of a prying audience. Reality on the other hand doesnt.

my laws of life. My LoL.

2005-08-23T17:49:00.000+05:30

The whole question is not about dedicating the life to an ideal but about finding an ideal worth dedicating your life to.

sniff sniff

2005-08-23T13:41:00.000+05:30

couldnt have been worser with my favorite game design portal flipcode closing on my bday!!!
*sniff, sniff*

I wonder why?

2005-08-17T16:01:00.000+05:30

When trying to throw a nut out of a window , the higher the force you use to throw it out, the more certain it is that it will hit the window and bounce back
The more important the appointment, the more late you reach
[The more important the assignment|The more hotter the sun], the more rarer the bus you need

SNought

2005-08-17T15:59:00.000+05:30

Its one of these things that you think up when you are biking along on a road for 20 mins...you think. And you have a method of thinking. My style varies all the while. Sometimes i take a stand and see how i can reason it out. Other times, i reason it out, make a mush of all things available and then decide on what stand to take.

Today the snought [a play on the word nought=zero, and also means snippet of thought] or the more popular Chautauqua[shameless plagiarism here] will be on the concept of arranged marriages.

Took a stand that its good and then found out reasons for it. My analysis tells me this.

As much a person "thinks" that he/she knows himself well, its more or less contrived and always turns out to be what they "think" they are, than what they actually are. Parents in these cases are more or less good/great predictors of their children's behavior. Since almost all marriages[even love marriages] always seem to turn out to be union of strangers inspite of all the courting that goes beforehand; parents finding the most suitable girl or boy based on the behavioral traits of their own kids and hooking them up with suitable prospects seems to be quite a simple answer to a lot of heartbreaks!!!

But of course there are always the exceptions... :)

book count

2005-08-09T11:06:00.000+05:30

"Q&A"
"Deception Point"
"The Broker"
-Three books i consumed recently

Currently Consumed by-
"Zen And Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"
"Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy"

Something Phishy

2005-08-04T14:37:00.000+05:30

Nothing useful to post, so just putting this phishing mail i had got. Try comparing the ui given in the mail and the original one at www.bankofthewest.com. Definitely amazed at the work of the people. And of course that of gmail that actually puts the warning for you... coooool B-)

+++
support-id749372@bankofthewest.com to j~

Warning: This message may not be from whom it claims to be. Beware of following any links in it or of providing the sender with any personal information. Learn more

Dear Bank of the West Customer,
During our regular update and verification of the Internet Banking
Accounts, we could not verify your current information. Either
your information has been changed or incomplete, as a result your
access to use our services has been limited. Please update your
information.

To update your account information and start using our services
please click on the link below:
http://64.28.107.115/bankofthewest/

Note: Requests for information will be initiated by Bank of the West
Business Development; this process cannot be externally requested
through Customer Support.

Sincerely,
Bank of the West
Security Department.
+++

a quick story

2005-07-29T20:31:00.000+05:30

"I will miss you" beamed darkly from an irritatingly-bright flouroscent-background of a dormant mobile. A faint smile carved itself on the bloody lips. Strength returned to a lonely wounded soul on a desolate highway ploughed down by a reckless faceless powermonger. The strength came; but also brought with it, the power of thought. The soul longed for a nimble caress of his lady. But the mind still puzzled on the 'will'. She always missed him but never told him she would. Strange it was.

Realization hit. An orphaned tear swept away with a life lost. A lover jilted.

Naach. mind-blowing

2005-07-18T10:33:00.000+05:30

"Naach is a madman's dream. I am that madman"

Watching Naach is unlike watching anything you have ever watched till date on the Indian screen. While Gayab could not do complete justice to a man's obsession (the object/subject of that obsession is unnecessary) because of the actor's inability to reflect it. On the other hand, Naach is a true madness, unleashed.

Its a true tribute to Fountainhead. And to a fan of Fountainhead, Naach was exactly what the characters would be in India. The passion, the music, the strength of the characters, its just orgasmic.

Its an orgasmic delight seeing Antara Mali in action. Undoubtedly the most underrated actress. Its just a wonderful scene watching her play the character, the mercurial ease with which she becomes the character. Abhi rocks. And trust Ramu to show what women's lib can be; should be; showing feminist movement is not about sexual promiscuity masquerading as liberation.

Pain

2005-06-30T11:14:00.000+05:30

Ever thought how unfortunate the person is
who cannot express his feelings?
a person incapable of expressing pain?

When every vessel in the heart is being torn apart,
with daggers and swords,
each tissue crying, screaming
in pain of infinite agony.

In times when every thought fails you and all sanity has abandoned you.
Have you felt the relentless pain
that you can do nothing about
but only scream?

When tears fail you,
and all that is evoked from your heart
is laughter?

When your heart feigns ignorance of efforts
of kinder hearts commiserating you...

When all your heart does
is drink the pain in,
and radiates smiles and laughter and cheer?

When the heart feels
like a balloon on a thorn
and all you can muster
is but a benign smile.

The innards feel crushed,
rotten, with a heart failing to burst
When the face fails you
and you wish truly for a tear.

Ever felt how that feels?
I do.

Episodic Short Story, My First

2005-06-28T10:35:00.000+05:30

The lights fluttered. He kept looking into the infinite darkness spreading before his eyes growing gradually, with a demonic consistency, engulfing any traces of his sane self. A lone candle kept shimmering alone; while others kept dying in rapid succession. A small flickering in a huge room, like a small trace of hope, too small and useless but nevertheless still alive with life.

He kept rocking the chair. Back and forth. In slow and deliberate thought. Musing. A poison stick between his fingers. Smoking himself with thoughts. Thoughts to himself. Thoughts about himself. Thought for himself. Thoughts.

He rocked. More slowly and with increasing deliberation. He kept rocking. A lot of the cake was still left. He turned 25 today. Feigning sick he had skipped eating it. He accepted though with much better ease, the champagne his friends brought him for his latest success in his venture. He quickly emptied glasses of russian water with the troubled ease of a habitual drunkard. It was the only method through which he could accept his pain and the succeeding readiness to showcase his vulnerability for his green-eyed 'friends' helped him stay connected. It made them contended. Happy and deeply respectful of their own insignificant lives.

He was a teetotaller. He loved being a teetotaller. Like a connoiseur the glass clinkled with the clear liquid that flowed into them; he accepted every glass raised in his toast; he drank in the acid, burning his innards contended to know that he was still capable of pain; he was still human. With the ease of a habitual smoker, he put the stick to his lips, taking in deep huge breaths of smoke, deep into the lungs, fully accepting the choking smoke, with each and every poison pill stuck to his grieving lungs, blackening them a little more. He observed himself smoke. He loved watching himself. Like he had done all his life. Observing how he behaved when he was in public, when he was alone, when he was with her.

Life had changed a lot in the years that had followed. He had grown successful. With each passing moment he grew more lonely, he kept himself busy. He had to keep himself busy. The effort showed. In the form of promotions coming up every alternate semester. Gossip mills working overtime to find a convincing reason for his incredible success. Reasons kind enough to convince the mind-crippled of their non-existing adequacies trampled by a power-sucking egoist. Speculations grew rife, about his lonely life, his sucking up to his bosses, male and female. The bosses loved him. He was one who believed he owned the company. He was one who lived for the company, his only existent conversations, while meetings, and whose gossip at the water machine consisting of a quick analysis of the quarterly results.

But night changed many things. It gave him time to think. About himself. Days of physical strain, left him tired and happy at the knowledge of his incapability to think anymore; to question, to answer himself, to face the truth. But days as this, the weekends, the mornings spent on friends, brought him dread. The nights made his sane. He feared, the power of sanity; the insanity; the ruthless cruelty that followed; he feared them. And tonight he rocked the chair.

Alone he rocked. The eyes followed the silhouette hoisted on the wall. Aeons ago, he had siddled up to the silhouette, full of life, out of the frame, breathing life and love. His eyes following from the frame, as his eyes remained transfixed to the frame, bobbing up and down the room. Small elegant frame, bright and full of life with a single lonely flower brightened by a face lit with a twinkle in eye and mischief in the smile. A frame that had not existed before. A frame he wished did not exist now.

Every passing moment was a punishement in itself. Every passing moment brought thoughts, futile questions. Ifs, buts and what ifs. An exercise in thought. An exercise in pain. Life had never been the same for him. Every person was something to him. Everyone brought a part of him. He took from each of them but never borrowed. He changed for every one of them.

A regular shave. A weird smelling cologne to go with that daily shave. His favorite movies he didnt like watching now, she never liked them anyways. Or a regular bath. Uncomfortable formal wear at home. Or a pc that was now just a tool only, she had resented it. He resented himself now. For he wasnt exactly to her specifications. He feared himself now. He resented his brains now. He resented his existence. Profainities he had stopped uttering long ago. Every word he spoke, he measured; unsure if it hurt.

Every action reminded a person. The person changed him. A small word in his vocabulary he heard from her for the first time. A small mannerism he made his own. Every place they had visited reminded him of his lone self now. Nothing remained the same. They had ceased long ago. He stopped going to meet friends, it required effort. Every action. Every smile. Every laugh. Every memoir required an effort. They left him emacipated.

He sat through the night looking at the white stick in his fingers. The stick grew thick luscious tresses of smoke, bouncing effortlessly away from the stick, rising lovingly towards him, but the wind kept pushing them away. They fought for his affection, to kiss him sleepily between his lips, grow inside him, filling him with themselves. They grew, they flew up to him, they tried reaching him, but couldnt stop rising, they grew till they were thin. Thin remnants of smoke, white, like a silky shroud tried hard to stick together; but couldnt. They had to split. They were never destined to be together. They were never meant to be one. Formless, without boundaries, dissolving into each other, dissolving away from one another. They flowed out of the stick like a foaming gushing river till the invisible rocks in the little breeze broke the odyssey. Small boulders around which they came around, embracing again. Huge invisible boulders broke their flow, their form. They persisted. Finally they reached the top, the helm. But by that time, they had already vanished. They had already lost one another. They had lost themselves.

He was not much different.

*Any persons living or dead is purely non-intentional*

ep3 strikes!

2005-06-14T20:56:00.000+05:30

Very moody am i....hmmmmmmmmm......

"What Star Wars Character Are You?"

You are a Jedi Consular. [kiamundu - jedi consular]

You are wise, have a way with people and are more of a diplomat than a fighter. Your mind is your greatest asset. Fill it with more knowledge and your power will increase. Share your knowledge with others as an instructor or mentor to help them grow as individuals.

Your wisdom is a gift to be shared with the world.

"What Star Wars Character Are You?"

Anakin Skywalker
Watch out for your temper...it could get you into trouble the way it did Anakin. You have enormous potential to be a great Jedi, but stress has made the dark side seem that much more inviting...

wisdom

2005-06-14T20:55:00.000+05:30

Uncertainty is inevitable, but worrying is optional.
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.
Growing older is inevitable, growing up is optional.

To divide anything into what should be and what is, is the most deceptive way of dealing with life.

Battle is a choice, and it is the choice of the powerful to choose not to battle.

*something, which i come to understand and respect*

Mystic River

2005-06-02T13:32:00.000+05:30

Do we have words for this?

Its the midnight. 12 to be exact. Its the time when i almost finished writing my diary...almost. Its already been 15 minutes when it started raining. Being the busy bug, a rain is not something you want, that would mess with your schedule. And then the busy schedule comes to an abrupt end with the power cut.

With nothing better to do, i come out. Sit under the dark. Stretch my legs and just sit. Its the rain that you miss when you are on your way back from home. Its the same rain, that you get stuck in, when you are planning to go out to meet the special someone. Its the same rain. But something about this is different. Its the calm, the loneliness, that pines in me to find a mate, a friend.

Is it the time? When the whole world is sleeping, you are only one wide awake. The senses are vigilant. In general, you are no more an observer trying not to get wet. But now you are one of it. At that time in the night, you are a part of it. Alone. Its a wonderful feeling. The tiny drops falling five feet away. And you are sitting under the portico. The tiny drops float to the ground and break into a thousand droplets, each droplet tiny, weightless, but significant enough to feel their existence.The tiny droplets engulf you in a drizzle, but small enough to never to get you wet. Its the cool breeze like a cool coat that you dont want to take off.

The lightning strikes in a distance...far far away; never disturbing you from your wide awake slumber. The senses see it all, feels it all, but never registers it. The nature lets out a muffled shriek to wake you, but that never ever reaches you. Houses, trees and other features shine up for an instant, fighting for your recognition. You see them for an instant, trying to figure out where they fit when you saw them in the morning, but they disappear as soon as they had showed up to you.

Its totally normal to be awed by the power of nature when you see the huge rocks on your trek up the tirumalai or to feel completely empowered sitting atop of the Chapora Fort of Goa glancing at the wide expanse of water. But when despite all the difference between nature and us, if i feeling as itself, as a part of it, recognising yourself in it, its a definitely different experience.

Its just a dream sequence that comes alive. You know you would never be able to feel it again. Atleast not in the same way you felt. Next time its to be different. Never with the same sense of oneness, never with the same sense of self-indulgent awe. Never with that of a kid allowed to play in the mud. Of a kid allowed to all his sweetmeats.

a depressed soul

2005-05-31T15:03:00.000+05:30

What happens to a mind that thinks
and thinks and thinks
and thinks?

Is it lost in the labyrinth
dark, unwelcome and where dangers abound?
Is it lost in the crowd
busy in their own pithy lives?

The mind is but a experiment
gone haywire and out of control
the frankenstien's monster
out to kill the mind that makes it work?

The mind is blunt, soft and gel
pain, doubt, fear and anger
abound and borne,
kill, grow and ripen into angels noir.

The mind needs rest, the mind has to stop,
to think and muse, and fear and loathe,
the objects it sees, and feels and hears...
The things it loves, it loves to hate,
the strength of the weak, it hates too much,

The mind innocent, tries to find answers,
answers to actions of meanings none.
Disconnected words and logic illogical
that masquerades as thinking of minds aloof.

Inflicting on itself, pain, fear and loathsome gain.
the mind needs to stop, to think and think,
the mind has to cease, the mind has to stop,
the mind has to die.

*btw, dont worry. im ok*

what would you do?

2005-05-26T21:48:00.000+05:30

What would you do if you knew you would never fail?

My thought was that i would try to do anything and everything i wanted to do, from bizarre to the most absurd and physically impossible. defy gravity, and many others...

But the most common answer i got when i asked my friends was "nothing"

That was quite strange.

All, can you please put in the first thought that you get in your mind. Only the first thought only please.

*I wish to consolidate all the comments and add them to this post itself*

first time for last time

2005-05-26T21:32:00.000+05:30

sometimes when im in my best thinking caps, and want to give myself a good thrust to be more proactive, i ask myself
when was the last time you did something for the first time?
or
what would you do if you knew you would never fail? (more on this very soon...)

Why am i saying this? Cuz last week i did two new things for the first time...

Tried my hand at cooking. So here comes the chef. in his Biryani and the mutton curry

Planning to repeat this success this week too

Saw a Star Wars movie in a theatre and on a first day

A good tribute to a good epic

Went to a Chinese Restaurant. Its been only the Chinese kiosks till now.

Eating in restaurant costs money

Ate a pizza in office

Dominos is costly. Whoever was that that said about a Happy Price Menu. [was it even dominos?]

Bowling. My score is now 98[up from 55]. Bowlers here i come!!!

And i have my bet with a friend of mine who is quite a regular bowler[@168] whom i challenged to beat from about the 6th time of my bowling. And im yet to go to my 3rd.

*i had to write this lest i forget that i really did do something good on my weekend* :)

rambling

2005-05-13T19:32:00.000+05:30

"So what do you think? She loves me?"

"Well yeah, but the chances are like you winning the grand european lotto"

"Oh so you do think that i have a chance?"

"Havent you heard what i said? Its like 1 in a million!"

"Yeah i get that. But it says i do have a chance"

"Forgotten your high school maths friend? What does probability tell you?"

"Well it tells me however bleak the chances, i do have a chance"

"See maths doesnt teach me to disbelieve in things. It teaches me to believe in them. It forces me to believe that however bad they appear on paper, i always have a chance"

"Well you are a hopeless theist arent you?"

"Whats wrong in believing in god? When you can believe that atoms exist and electrons exist, and even quarks, leptons and mesons, and that, when you havent seen or felt them? You believe because of the qualities they exert on some other phenomena, right...? Then why is it that this abstract mind of yours is revolted at the idea of a god whose presence is in the nature all around and manifest everywhere? You need the prism to prove to you that light consists of seven colors but then you always had it staring you in your face...the rainbow."

"Someday you will come up with the theory that all the creatures, animate and inanimate, in this world are connected by a single source of energy, and that this energy is present in all the beings and flows through them...And some fine day you might even call it the devil, which we have been all along calling as god"

a weekend

2005-05-09T18:27:00.001+05:30

lessons learnt from doing a nightout on thursday night at office

to start off, you need to have a reason to do a nightout
just like that' is not a reason enough
you need to have some semblance of a work place at night, which means you should not be the only guy doing some work
nightouts tire you out no matter what and you need to sleep the next day
if no work, go home
going home stretches your weekend to three days instead of two!
the first day of that weekend though is spent sleeping!!!

lessons learnt by going with a friend to alleygator and then to a
movie in imax on a hot saturday afternoon @ 11 without eating anything

summers in hyd ARE hot
bowling IS costly
everyone has his share of beginners luck and then everything just crumbles
never never go out with a friend who HAS plans
going to some crap action movie instead of a comedy one is a dangerous change of plans
watching an action movie 4th row from the screen breaks yr head, and yr eyes pop out
imax rocks as long as you dont start spending money
thai food is good. for people on a diet.

sunday

its bad when you dont check your mails for 2 days!
it is even bad if one of the mails contains the details of a pal's bday
it gets worse when you are the only one that doesnt make a call
it gets worst when you want to call but the call time in yr cell is zero
icing on the cake, you forget to recharge yr cell
its good when school friends meet on a sunday evening to talk
but its bad when you dont remember anything they are talking about
and then suddenly someone notices that and says, 'hey, why are you silent?'
you mumble up saying something as arcane as, 'well, i am/was observing you guys'

*no offence meant to any person referred here, living or sleeping* :)

Black.

2005-05-02T15:40:00.000+05:30

Overrated.
Overhyped.
Just a different movie.

Roles were either over-played or under-played.

Never could i connect to the movie. All i could do was see.The movie was too polished; to be even able to touch a raw nerve or pull the string.

A painting that goes on and on but never is a drama that could evoke anything remotely human...

Some really brilliant scenes.But never could get into the skin to connect to it. Neither could see the grit nor the mad genius.A fine balancing act but as i said. Sorry.

Kaal. Dhamaal.

2005-05-02T15:39:00.000+05:30

Clever, Interesting, Paisa Vasool[for a 25/- buck ticket for a sleepy sunday summer noon show on an empty stomach]. Falls short of expectations. But im Ok with that.

Even if i could predict the sequences before hand a good 10 - 15 mins before they even take place?
Even if i could guess the climax 20 mins before the end?
Even if i knew that movie belongs to 'The Factory' than to the Johar's company?

In spite of all these ifs, Kaal is paisa vasool. A true Indian thriller in a long time. I enjoyed the movie. Actually could laugh at some of the most serious scenes. But as i said, I enjoyed watching Kaal from the beginning of the frame to the end.

Some brilliant moments in the movie. Some gross mistakes. But atleast something thats fun. Some moments had me on the seats edge. Some moments had me biting my nails.And most of the moments had me just watching it.

a. Three tigers and a 2 men. Thrill kill!

I liked Sixth Sense. The cleverness in the plot.
I liked Final Destination. The plot freaked me.
Im pretty fine with Kaal. No cribs. Paisa Vasool.

But im not sure i would like it the same way if i were to shell out a hundred bucks for this same movie.

Trivie
[my friend tarun's observation]
Wonder how the king khan's face first comes into light in the item song 'Kaal Dhamaal' only when the word 'kaal' is heard? timing, i say.

I just hope the message in the movie doesnt go unnoticed. Obey the rules. The bigges beast is man. etcetera

'Policemen have too much power'

2005-04-26T21:13:00.000+05:30

This is in reference to an article with the same title.

Yes,what happened in Mumbai was absolutely wrong. The laws too are archaic. But making sweeping statements as this is, i guess i had to vent my views.

A society thats completely narcisstic of itself, we never seem to understand or even try make an attempt what the life of a soldier or a police man is made of. We talk of crime growing in the city but never care about who constitute this force. None of us "the educated class" will go into the forces. We are overqualified to do such jobs. So lets keep the mouths shut unless we really do something about it. Lets stop making sweeping statements, that incriminates all the guys who are doing such a good work, the jawans in the colds and the policemen maintaining law and order.

I for myself cannot think[or dream?] of leaving this plush job for joining the army, would i?

Of police being killed in encounters, of soldiers being killed daily, but we never understand that for every soldier killed, there's a family rendered helpless.

And that soldier/policeman was not killed, mind you, in his own self defense; but for some stranger sleeping happily in their cozy beds unaware of everything; the strangers, you and me.

I see hundreds of people riding on the road without proper licenses and then suddenly talk of rules and inequality, only when caught.

Any comments?